... 20 a day for about a year or more) cold turkey... went threw the hell of withdrawls.. im now at day 17 and feel pretty good physical - of course still some soreness but totally able to deal with it. anyway, last week i got very very depressed and sad and i figured it was part of the addiction - meaning i guess part of withdrawing. i took advice (very good advice) and i have gone to a few meetings.. in my area there are many aa meetings and hardly any na meetings. aa has been wonderful and so much support. my question is : i have never had a problem with alcohol just pain meds.. i drink occasionally but definately not for the same reasons that i took pills. i feel like a hypocrite because im going to aa and needing support for my pill addiction but in my heart i don't believe that it means that i have to stop drinking --- dont get me wrong if it was a problem then i would but really i don't think it is.. am i wrong? im i going to sabotage myself by drinking? can i not go and get what i get -- i want balance in my life. i truly don't want to be a fanatic about anything... please help i don't know what to think