i recently had a accident in which my right foot was almost torn from my leg they saved the foot(thank god) but im still in a whole hell of a lot of pain. ive since then healed (kindof) and returned to work. when i get off work im in so much pain that it is killing my sex drive! im only 26 and ive been married for 5 years but with with the same women for 8 years. im getting so frusterated i dont know what to do im embarrased to ask my doctor and i know its not an ED thing its a motivation thing. does anyone have any suggestions on what to do other than popping a viagra. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated and might save my marriage, thank you
Your marrage is important but if its just the sex thing that shouldn't matter your partner should understand and get threw it with you. It may be a cause from medications. Like pain meds I experianced this problem when takin pain meds and also same as you pain. When your in pain the last thing you want is to " get busy ". Your partner should be understanding. It can take a toll on a relationship I have been there but if you shit and talk and come to an understanding everything will work out. I would also talk to your doctor about what's going on. I wish you well.
Most important... relax. Have your wife soothe the affected areas with whatever feels good. This will be your new foreplay. Take a bath together and start slow. Just some kissing and cuddling.
Try a new position which would be more comfortable for you. Perhaps you can sit in a chair. I could go on and on. And me as a friend so we can talk private. Pain does affect your sex life and so do many medications.
You will be alright again, don't push it or let it get you down.
Honesty is usually the best policy in a relationship my friend. Sit and talk to your partner and explain how you are feeling sometimes just doing that and working together sometimes works to get things going again I know it did for us. I was always sick and not in any mood for anything but we worked together and found alternatives that were acceptable and it lead into bigger and better things-new positions can help also but remember be straight and honest it may be hard on your partner as well but just be honest with each other, work together on changes and bingo the big moment may come back. Good luck and watch for the fireworks later. marjorie zych
I must agree with everyone here you need to talk to each other cause communication is key in a relationship. Im sure she will understand dont worry so much and if she does decide she cant deal with it you need to get her out of the picture and work on taking care of yourself which you should be doing anyway. Sounds like an awful tragedy on your part being torn by the limb is not exactly comfortable and even i can understand that.
hi chrcau, the fact that your askin for help is the first sign of wanting to heal from all of the pain this accident has caused in your life.not many people could bring themselves to admit that they're in another kind of pain that pills Cant heal.if you and your wife talk about this and she understands what your going through then the rest of the people you talk to about this should be much easier.you may be surprised by your doctors bed side manner in this area. docs hear about this stuff way more than you may think. if you trust your doc to deal with your physical then you should trust him with this mental problem. that is what this is. as hard as it is you gotta trust your doc. all our good intentions here at drugs.com can only suggest a course of action. its up to you to take the first step. do it now cause like you said this may be a make or brake to your marriage.hope this helps you to make the right decision... pete
Is it the pain, or is it the pain meds that are causing the problem? I'm on opiates for chronic pain and have absolutely no sex drive at all. I tried testosterone shots, but all they did was mess up my hormones, but that is something you might consider being a guy. My family practice doc says she usually has great results with her patients - after 2 shots they are good to go. Though if it's the pain, pain completely jumps ahead of all other brain functions - your adrenals are pumping so much adrenaline into your body that other functions don't stand a chance. What are you doing for pain relief? You might consider learning progressive relaxation, or guided imagery - that way you could lay down for awhile and get your pain levels down somewhat - then maybe other impulses would come to mind.
I do think you need to talk to your partner though - there are other ways to help each other out, and sex for women is not always as huge a deal as it is for the guys. Sometimes, yeah it is, but other times - well, you don't know what she's thinking about things unless you talk to her.
wow you have received really great info! I just wanted to add my husband and I have been married 17 yrs. and well he's 36 and about 10yrs ago sex went from daily to maybe once a month. I swore it was because of my body he said it wasn't. Well after a year or two of this pattern, he decides to go to the doctor (he was also extremely tired:taking naps during the day.) The doctor found out that his testosterom (sorry spelling) was a level of 52 yes 52 when at that time it should've been high like around 600. He now takes shots once a week and our sex drive well amazing would be an understatement!! Moral of the story... Please Please Please talk to your wife and GO TO THE DOC. He does understand I promise you. there's many other treatments. Don't let your marriage suffer over something like this. I had extremely low self-esteem so it just put me in depression.
I'm sure you love her very much and vice versa. Good Luck! And I will be praying for you and your family!
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