hi there i am trying to quit pain killers. i had a co worker talk to me about my habit two weeks ago..he said something good.told me dont fool yourself, this stuff is nothing to fool around with. get off them now. even if you tell yourself you only take a certain amount you are still fooling yourself. please get help..well i am wondering if i go to an urgant care center will they be able to help me? i didnt take any tue and wed. thu night took 2 to wean off..yesterday i messed up and took 8. i am on 7.5 vikes. i have had back n female issues so thats how i got them but i am concerned i am not taking them correctly because they make me feel good. i realize now i have a big problem but know this too shall pass. any advice to get rid of flu like stomach issues?
i am eating jello and drinking tons of water. cranberry juice..i tried to take vitemin but i vomited it up... so will wait till stomach calms down... i have no clue how to tell the b.f. he knows i use... he wasnt too concerned before as i told him i only take them occasionally but i think later on he did talk about how he would be afraid of getting addicted so he wont try or take them. i think he knows i have a problem..maybe he doesnt know how to say anything to me..but tonight i am going to tell him i am kicking the habit... he then will figure out i lied to him a month or two ago when i first went to him crying that i cant get off them..he asked if i was taking every day..i lied and said no. i wish i had been truthful. either way i know he will be there for me. i know i can do this... its painful but i know i can kick this. i have been through worse than this.
i really need to get to a therephist so i can relearn how to cope with life... had i gone ayear ago i dont think i would be here. its weird how life is. please pray for me to kick the habit.
Added 20 Jun 2010:
hi there thank you for your encouragement. I went out on a limb yesterday and asked one of my friends to be my sponser so to speak. i dont need her to come drive to my house all the time but i need someone to talk to why i am going crazy. i hate myself for not being smarter. i know better. i have read so much on this but i am only human and even smart people make dumb mistakes.
word of the day to the lurkers=dont fool yourself..everyone around you knows when you use=my friend who i didnt know, knew all along i was stoned but she says it is not her place to say anything. now i am asking all you readers to take a step out and say something next time you see this. i wish someone sooner spoke to me. but at least i am getting the idea i need to get off this junk
also if you dont make mistakes you dont make anything.
this was on a sign on a wall by a doctors office.
as far as getting off. i am trying to wean to not get the violent illness. i took my last vike this morning. i took none yesterday. so far i didnt even feel stoned as i usually take 2 at a time. for now the shakes and belly pain slowed down.
this is the second time this year i have detoxed. the january one i weened off and wast taking as much as i was now. so i know i need to get on that suboxone. i found a doctor in my area. do i have to tell them i have a primary care doctor? i am so ashamed. i have gotton my scripts by this doctor a few times but they were for legit stuff. thats why i fell off the band wagon. i went the month of january clean, injury in feb...and back on them..tried to kick for a month and fell off since now. so i know this too shall pass. i know people love and care about me. but i still feel like a shit head.
thank you for your love and support. we all need to learn to reach out to one another. depression is treatable. but using isnt the way to treat it. i am just putting off the inevitable snap that will come. but at least all i do is cry. so cry i will.
Added 21 Jun 2010:
today is monday, at work, feeling tired but not too bad...so far its a pain lying to people about why I feel and look like shit..I just stick to my story I have the flu. So far no one has said anything. I know i am a coward. I want to call a doctor but afraid I wont be able to afford the medicine. I will work on looking up a local doctor. but for now as of 11am not so much discomfort. taking the adivan really helped for anxiety. so we will see. thank you all for your continued support. i have done this cold turkey before. i can do it again. and i am enjoying my head not being so foggy and not having yucky mouth feeling.
Added 25 Jun 2010:
hi folks..its a week later..i posted a follow up about 20 min ago..i called a toll free number from work to get a counselor. i am having a real hard time quitting pain medicine and the withdrawals are hell. they found me a counselor and i can get 5 visits for free. i told her i suffered depression and went off my medicine this winter..around the time i started using heaviliy. i asked for help. i foound it. i have to wait till monday but for now i feel so much better but i am crying my bloody head off. i feel so alone. i feel pain. emotional pain. my mother died 2 yrs ago june 14. i never resolved. thank you for sticking by me. love you guys. tonda