can't get out of bed and I have nothing to live for. My doctor doesn't see this and wont give me back my benzos. Paxil and Buspar are the biggest insults to my intelligence and they don't work. I don't know if I can go on living. I will miss all of you. Thank you for all your help
I am so close to ending it all. Everyday, I wake up feeling like I am wasting away with longing. I?
- Asked
- 26 Nov 2010 by hardfi
- Updated
- 18 January 2012
- Topics
- buspar, paxil, aids related wasting
Responses (21)
hardfi,
Please please go to ER and tell them how you feel!!! Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, ya can't take it back. Think of those that love ye, and those you love, how they would miss you!
Now, get thyself to ER, and find another doctor that will listen to you!!!
Let us know how you are doing, Please???
sweetlemon
Hello hardfi,
I understand how you are feeling... been there myself, but taking your life is not the way to go. You must keep on going , fighting, searching for the right doctor as SL says, please do not give up, life is too precious. I agree with SL go to the ER please, do not take matters into your own hands until you have exhausted all other possibilities.
You are an intelligent woman making the wrong decision, think about it, do not give in EVER, you must continue this life there is always a solution and sometimes is so close to us we can not see it, but not suicide PLEASE.
Please take care and I wish you the best of the best.
Your friend,
Andres.
You could use a new doctor for sure. Is there anything any of us can do to help right now. ER is good but you may can get to a walk in doctor also, if money is an issue and get some benzos. Please talk to us, we need you here, don't do anything rash.
Neither paxil or buspar worked for me. I couldn't sleep on either. this is a personal opinion on anti d's, lower doses of some of the older ones work better on me, like 10 or 25 mgs of amitriptyline ( works better for fibro pain on me, elevates mood better) or 10 mg NON extended release generic Prozac really did help keep me calm. Sometimes I would take one one day and only the other one the next. I didn't know if you meant you literally can't get out of bed or not, if you can't, call 911 for sure and let them help you at the ER and tell them you need a new doctor for further treatment. I am saying some Prayers for you.
I just don't want to risk a new doctor so I can come out with the same pills that I already am on
Please please please please go to the ER!!! Sweetlemon is right!!! If you go to the ER, they can help, and they can solve this problem - but if you do end it all, that's it. End of story. We need you!! You've helped all of us, it is the community as a whole that helped me out more than I can explain!! For the first time, I didn't feel totally alone!
Honey, would you please let us know something. I am hoping you went to the ER and that you will let us know something soon. I think all of us who answered are checking back here over and over hoping you are still here. I'll keep checking back.
hardfi,
Please tell us you are OK ???
Lara
i'm safe for right now. I can't go into the ER because I have been there too many times and the doctor there just makes me feel like shit. He belittles me and doesn't listen to me when I try to tell him whats wrong. Thank you for your concern. I will stay alive for all of you until I find the answer
Hardfi, Even though I don't know you, we are family here!! Talk to us ok? You CAN and MUST go on living. Please think about all the loved ones in your life. How will they handle losing you? I am begging you to please go to the er or talk to your doctor. You said he insults your intelligence. Tell him that!! If he doesn't "see" this, maybe you need to really tell him more harshly what is happening to you. But do not leave this way. Your life is worth fighting for. Do not give up the fight, please. So many people here do care and will help any way we can. Talk to us. But don't check out on us like this. I don't know you but I would like to? Please tell us what is so bad that you're willing to leave this way. Hardfi, call 911, a close friend, or at least give us a chance to help you ok?
Nice job chris
We ARE family here. No one should feel so low that they are willing to take their life. Promise me, if you ever get so sad or feeling like you have no where to turn, you will talk to us ok? I worry about all my friends and family on DC. That goes to everyone who reads this!! I pray she gets help and let's us know she is ok.
Look at all the responses you got from people who care about you and there are more. Please get help I know you are worth it. Your new friend John, KEEP IN TOUCH. We all care.
I have felt that way a number of times but it was usually because of taking drugs - I felt this way in withdrawal from ativan. I know you are hurting and you must lilsten to everyoone here. Please call someone. Are you in benzo withdrawal? We are all too far away but we need you to call someone and ask for help. It is not fair to everyone who loves you to end your life over some pills. Please call someone - everyone here is thinking about you.
thank you... kisses
I honestly feel the same way you do. I added you as a friend. Please add me so we can speak privately. I don't or can't talk about what I did last night because it sucks I am still here today.
Please, I dont know what time zone you are in, I am in Eastern. I will try to stay up till I hear from you, but I may not be here tomorrow if all goes well tonight. I want to hear your problem, maybe you do have some hope left, at the least sharing my story might make you think you still have a chance. Sable
im in the midwest in WI
Hang on, you are trying to commit suicide too? Whats up with everyone this week? Why in the world do you want to also? I know you have had issues lately but not anything Ive seen worth debating killing yourself over. So if its something else, talk to us, see if we can help. Or at least pm me if you dont want to tell everyone.
Well, I'm fine for the moment. I accidentally posted in the wrong spot why I can't go to the ER. Hopefully, u can find where I wrote that. Thank you for your support and thank you for being my friends and not just telling me to "grow up" like so many others do
Hi Hardfi, Please don't do anything? I am your friend. You need to live every moment. Think of happy things. Don't go to the ER, Go to an institution for 2 weeks and you will feel better. Go to a good one in your state. I usually don't say that. But you need to go. I dont want anything to happen to you. We all love you and people close to you love you too. Please update your statetus. I'm sending you a PM with my phone number you call me. I have been where you have been and its not worth it!!! We both need someone to talk to.
Hello hardfi,
I am very happy you are fine for now, remember we are your family where we do not judge you at all, just want to be able to help you, as you have helped so many other people.
There is a saying " One who helps others helps oneself", you probably knew it but it does not hurt to be reminded once in a while , with all due respect.
Once again I am very happy you are doing better.
All the best and take good care,
maso,
That saying is so true!
SL
I must agree, Maso. That to help others is to help one's self is the most important lesson in life. Without others we are nothing. I learned that here, beginning with you, sir.
There is no excuse when I wallow in self pity, yet it's so easy to fall into that pattern again. I, we, must be diligent like with anything important. Thank you for your comment.
Hello Hardfi
I pray that you have found the strength to hang in there. Please know that there are a lot of people on this site that care about you. If you need to talk or vent, let us know. Thank you for reaching out and don't be afraid to ask for help. I have been there and have realized that "ending it" is not the answer.
Do not harm yourself its not worth it! I would try different doctors till you find someone that understands. be careful it doesn't make you look like a doctor shopper. A lot of medication refusals have to do with insurance issues also, some doctors pick a few of there favorites and dont use other meds on people. Get as much education possible and support your case. Benzo will sometimes just mask a problem and will make your doctor feel as if they are blinded to what is actually wrong so it may be just so the doctor can have a clear view of whats wrong to help you the best way. But in most cases I see doctors will almost never prescribe a benzo without an anti depressant, unless its just temporary. You can possibly say I will try something else but you cant suffer in the mean time.
yous should change your life mode, ideas ,your shape. read about islam by opened mind and i think that your life will change for better and you will gain a good thing that you will live for
I would have to agree, and also add that religion altogether can be very helpful. Belief in something that unites us all is very positive for the soul, whether it be Islam, the teachings of Christ (the old testament for me is far too negative, but that's just my opinion, and is very ok to disagree), or even the teachings of Buddha. For me, I find great comfort in Christ which I equal to love, and Buddha (Buddha is a philosophy, and not necessarily a religion btw). With meditation, I always feel sooooo much better, but would never discount something that I know little about such as Islam. Regardless, I really should look more into it. I know what I believe, and that is love, and if you have faith in love, then you'll feel better. When I feel like I'm about to get a bought of depression, I think over and over in my head simply the word "love".

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sweetlemon, chris,maso, patti are some of the best and nicest people you will ever meet. And there are many more. This site is great.
i know. we are lucky to have eachother
Don't give up. Life is precious, and you have someone yet to help from your experience. Benzos tend to be addictive, this is perhaps what your Dr. has a concern with. Keep asking for help. Keep searching until you get the help you need and deserve.
you are gonna have to find another doctor... I just detoxed off of my xanax,by choice, and I felt so hopeless and lonely. It is really rough not to have your benzo's when you really need them. Please take care.
I agree with everyone... go somewhere safe and get help! I have been where you are just a couple of months ago!!! I have gotten better... slowly but surely with good and bad days. There is NO magic bullet but life is worth living!!! Buspar and Paxil have worked for me but you are coming off Benzos where I was not! As a nurse I know what that can do to someone!! PLEASE find help!!!