... requires it. i started of with oxy's because of an injury for 6mos., then switched to heroin for 6mos., then have been coasting on 100mg of vicodin a day for the last 2 years. i am currently into 36 hours of no vicodin, though i have been taking about 400mg of tramadol per day since stopping taking vicodin. at the moment i am definitely fiend-ing and cant decide whether to tough it out or go to the suboxone clinic tomorrow, or to try and source some suboxones on my own(?) any advice from someone who has been through this? i'm feeling 50/50 on my resolve right now. if my dealer called i would jump in the car . .
Don't kid yourself, taking Tramadol is the same as taking an opiate. They may have a different chemical make up, but the net results are the same. I think the fact that you did Heroin for 6 months is a major warning sign. It would be to a doc. Once they hear you were willing to go buy Heroin and use it they consider you to be a hardcore opiates addict. But I'm not a doc. To really advise you I need more info. I havesk you a few questions. Do you generally suffer from depression? Do you also have problems with anxiety? Finally, do you often feel like your self esteem is too low. And is 1 of the reasons you like doing the drugs to make yourself feel better? If you answered yes to 2 or 3 of these questions then you are probably sick with addiction disease. In my mind it's not what drugs a person does that makes him sick with addiction disease.
It's what he feels like most of the time, and then why he uses the drugs he does. If you use drugs to escape from bad feelings that plague your almost every waking moment. That's what makes you sick with addiction disease. I also need to ask you if you used any drugs at all before the opiates, even if it was just alcohol or Pot? And do you really want to get off opiates, or are you just concerned the opiates are getting out of control. If you were to get off the opiates, what would you then do? Could you stay clean and sober, or would you need to use something else to help keep your sanity? If you can stay clean and sober, then I recommend you do a wean to pain pills with the help of an addiction doc. Nowadays they can give you several drugs to make the detox easier. However, if you know you will have a problem staying clean and sober, then perhaps Sub is right for you. Sub is best for people who has the addition disease, because it gives you a way to stay off other drugs that really mess you up, while you go into addiction counseling and learn how to deal with the emotions and life circumstances that trouble you and cause you to use and abuse the drugs that then cause more problems. Further, some of us, who are much older and have been dealing with this all our lives have the option to stay on Sub maintenance. I am currently doing just that because I have been in counseling, and I have always needed something to help me with my negative emotions and Sub is the best thing I have ever seen. It is for me the best option I have. In addition I have chronic pain, and Sub helps with that too.
So now you Farmer, your age is important. If you are young, as in below about 45 to 50, then you owe it to yourself to try and stay opiate free and drug free, if you know this is possible for you. You also must remember that getting off Sub can be harder, and take much longer than regular short acting opiates, even Heroin. But if you know you'[re the kind of person who will need to use something, even once you're off opiates, then I think you should give it a try. You do have enough of an opiate dependency. The question you need to answer is do you simply have an unfortunate opiate dependency due to an injury, or do you have some emotional issues that you use the opiates to give you relief to? If this second situation describes you then I think you should get a Sub doc. Don't score Sub on your own. It's a complicated medication, and you need a doc to make sure you use it right and don't run out. Remember, going on Sub is part of an entire treatment program, and running out of Sub can cause you to relapse worse than you ever were before. So get a doc and try and get a good one. Currently I don't have a good one, and he sometimes causes me more problems than I had before him. I'm just broke right now and he's inexpensive. But if I can get on my feet financially, I'll be looking for a better Sub doc myself.
I hope I helped you. I'm a bit stressed out right now, so if I didn't make sense here I apologize.
farmer and Thor, I know neither of you know me and may not know of my sense of humor, but one night while on this site, an answer struck me as so stellar, I made up my own award to give people that give such and answer, it is called "getting booted," and Thor just "got booted," as in into the spotlight. The answer that inspired this award was from a man here a while back, named booter42, so that is the reference for "the boot." his answer to someone mentioning addiction and counseling was that he thought suboxone drs should have to go to some addiction counseling too, so that they would see what we go thru in order to help us better or at least understand us, so they wouldn't feel so superior to us, it would help level the playing ground, so to speak. farmer, Thor gave you an amazing answer and was super thorough. Do NOT just buy suboxone from someone, that counseling is necessary to heal the addiction.
If you choose not to do the therapy, you will be taking a dangerous shortcut in the recovery that will likely put you at high risk of relapse, and you won't heal those underlying emotional issues that are helping foster the addiction. ALL addicts are embarrassed and tend to isolate and want to skip the counseling, it is critical to your recovery, and is supposed to be mandatory with suboxone rx'es. It sounds like a hassle and extra expense, it is necessary, believe me on this one point, if nothing else I write. farmer, you will learn addiction is an inheritable trait and it is a disease that can NEVER be totally healed, but it can be put into remission, and you can recover forever and never relapse, the counseling adds support, it teaches you why this happened, better coping skills and helps you get back on your feet. I am big to recommend 2 guys on Youtube.com who struck me with their awesome YouTube videos on suboxone. I am going to say, watch Maple2609's video on how suboxone helped save his life first, the watch SuboxDoc's 2 part video on how suboxone works. I discovered both these gentleman when I was almost done with my subs treatment and they are both easy to understand. I wish both of you the best. Thor, that money will come, for you to find a better subs dr. I don't know where you live but here there is much variance in the induction fees and the office visit fees, it can range from $266 to $1,500 for the induction fee and around $150 for an office visit to $425, so I uger people to always to go to suboxone.com and use the dr locator service, find all subs drs for your area, and call them untild you find one you can afford and the office sounds like you will be a patient and not a $ when you call them. Thor, I shall pray this money comes together quickly for you, I had not very much coming in when I sought treatment and know the feeling well, but it will come. Best of luck to you both, this is a great support group and farmer, you are welcome here. Pattishan61
All the responses here are really great ones with some solid points. I had an injury 11 years ago and have been hooked to opiates. I am self employed and don't have insurance now but when I did I went to a suboxone clinic and they detoxed me for a night and got me on the right dosage. I was doing good but the problem is I looked at it as I have a magic pill and I don't have to do any work on myself such as counseling. I relapsed when my insurance ran out and I couldn't afford the drug. I learned even though I am self employed building a business and don't have much I found myself in NA, which most states have tons of programs, they are free and saved my life. But my point is taking the suboxone will help with the craving and yes you should get on something to help if you, your addiction doesn't sound good if your are shooting heroin, but after all addictions in general are heavy.
Whatever you do whether it is NA or counseling, you need some sort of cognitive therapy along with the suboxone. Find a sponsor that will be there for you 24-7 and help you through those tough moments when you want to call your dealer. Hang in there. Kicking a habit is tough and hell but it can be done and it has many times. Just getting on this site and reading the great, insightful previous posts are a good start. Good luck!
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