AAMother of three.sole support for my family husband is disabled. I have ytryed to quit several time but never lasted long as of now I have no insurance. And I am sceptical of going on suboxone or methadone as these drugs are just as hard to get of of so I've heard . My husband is aware of problem and has tried to help I've given him the bottles once again however when I want more ot turns into a ascreamimin match whithch ultimately leads to. Him apologising. I tell him its not his fault fault Short version . Taking up to 30 soma, dfentanyl patch 25mcg every 2 days. 30 vicodin 10/325. Scared I'm going to die. Afraid to tell my pain dr. Or any any other doctor for that matter. Severe depression and anxiety esp when I cut back on meds. Been to Er 4 times this month. Just wanted relief of severe pain and anxiety.dx with fibro, diabetic neuropathy chronic back pain. I just turned 39 and I feel 90. I'm afraid to live with them and afraid to live without them. I've tried na a couple of times I just always justify why I need the meds as my user name suggests I am so desperate and feel I have nowhere to turn. Any suggestions or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thank you