Hey guys. My name is Amy. I'm 22 years old and I have been addicted to painkillers for the past 4 years. I just recently as of last week got accepted into a local Suboxone clinic, and thank God for that, because if not, I think eventually down the road, I would've ended up dead. I started off recreationally. A vicodin here... a percocet there... and then it started getting to the point where I needed more and more to get that high I was chasing, which lead to me becoming physically dependent and needing them just to function and get out of bed in the morning. My drug of choice was oxycontin. I would buy as many as I could afford and grate them up and snort them. When they came out with the new 'abuse proof' ones, I switched to 30 mg. percocets, which got me even worse. I was doing at least 150mg everyday, and once a month I would buy 10 30mg. pills and do them all in one night just to get high. All my friends are addicted to pills. They've all, sadly, started shooting them up now, so they're all worse of than me. That was the finally straw for me, I had to stop before I got on the needle like everyone else. Everything I owned was in the pawn shop, every bill was past due. My daughter was living with my mother because I couldnt take care of her, and also didn't want her around when I was using. My life was a wreck. Thank God for places like the Suboxone and Methadone clinics, or a lot of people wouldn't even be here. I was just wondering if anyone else agreed? Its becoming more and more common nowadays, everybody seems to either have done them or is doing them. Old lady's are selling their painkillers to get money for bills, and more and more people are becoming addicted. If anyone reads this, and is on the same road I was on, I urge you, please get some help, whether it's quitting cold turkey, or getting into a program like myself. Trust me, I know, this road leads to no where and if you think it's bad now, I promise it's going to get worse... I am 4 days clean today... and I feel amazing! I know it may not seem like much to some people that dont understand... but to me, 4 days is great! And the longest I've gone in 4 days without snorting a pill. If anyone ever needs any one to talk to, I want to be there and do anything I can to stop someone from going down this destructive road that I have been on. Good luck to everyone out there trying to quit, and it's hard at first, but I promise it gets easier!! :D
Congratulations sexyangel and welcome to the site!! Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone as you know. There are so many people who are or have been down the road that you speak of. While it was a long time ago for me, I never want to forget from where I came. As long as we never forget from where we have come, we will not have to go back.
Please keep posting and sharing,
Yes I understand also. But now due to my health issues I must take them to control the pain I am in. I don't want to use anything and it took me many years to get to thinking that way but its ironic now that I must use them. I am very happy to read that you are clean and believe me I know that each day is a victory when you are clean. All your problems will fade away the longer you stay clean. It is very uplifting to read your words and I wish the best for you. Stay your course and all good things will come back to you!!!
sexyangel, congrats. So glad to hear you are getting help and found out before to late. Im so proud of you. My neice over dosed and died at your age with her little girl sitting on the bed with her. I agree with you and it is already here, pain killers are taking over. Keep up the good work!!! And keep me posted.
Way to go Angel, Suboxone is a wonderful drug to get off all that junk. I was addicted to soma which landed me in jail with a DUI, I don't drink but i was high as a kite on soma. I absolutly agree with you that more and more people are abusing prescription drugs which makes it harder for us with serious medical problems to obtain them without being looked at like an addict.
I wish you all the luck in the world and your doing the right thing, your daughter will thank you for it one day,
Your friend in addiction
Sexyangel2981, It's been 4 months now and I'm wondering how you are doing? Are you still hanging in there, or stumbled? I so hope you spend as much time w your daughter as you can. She is truely worth it. Through her eyes your the hero and the person she wants to be like. I was addicted to Meth it helped w depression, and weight control, it also had something in it that took the edge off my migraines and other physical ailements. I had no insurance so I couldn't afford prescriptions or Dr visits. This Valentines (2012) will mark my 5th year of reality. Funny how buying street drugs and paying for Dr visits are so simular. I have 3 kids, My oldest son is 19 now, and he leaves for ARMY in a month, My girl is 15 and she was my strength and reasoning. She watched me go through hell. She told me that no matter what she still loved me. Woke me right up. My baby is 4 (same father) And I wish I had a quarter of his energy, he's all boy for sure.
What good could I possibly be or do to deserve these loving beautiful kids that I have? Then I would have said they're better off w out me to screw them up or make them play in the other room. They were always #1. Food, clothing, school, ETC But they deserved a mom that would sit and play or listen. Now I say Thank you to my daughter. She opened my eyes and I learned to look at things from different directions not just 1. I watched w proud eyes as my son walked across the stage at his graduation. My daughter is taller then I and fits in my clothes. I'm 40 lbs overweight, but I'm here.
Wow, all I can say is, more power to ya! I have the utmost respect for someone like you, who recognizes early on, the epidemic we have out there with the opiates. By keeping up your service work with others, you will be a rare treasure out there for the young mamas opting for the life you have chosen. 5 days is amazing! You are one smart mama... you and your kids are Blessed. Keep up the great work:) Jillian
I wish you well quitting... they say realizeing a problem is half solved... Myself Not on Pills.. Or anything else but too much coffee maybe... However i want people to hear my story on the other side... Those of you who do not think that drugs can get in your life... almost 20 years married.. i am in My mid 50's My Husband has progessively gotten worse... He failed a drug test to get a job a while back ... and also was on Meth a while back and then he just lost a job due to fail drug test... he managed to get another driving job... but I have No intention of being arround much longer... about a month ago.. He lost his job... came home and slept for days... Duhhh,,, I became ill thought I had a kidney stone... My daughter came over and took me to ER... ( You don't think He got up off the Sofa and took me do Ya??"" _) They did several test...
Turns out i had a tumor in my bladder... I need surgery..NOW,,, Though the doctor said it was not life treatening at this time... And considered me lucky we caught it as early as i did .. I went home with a cathader bag and pain Meds I could Not pee on My own and it was mostly Blood anyway... He layed arround and complained about his back and ribs hurtting... while I looked like a gas Pump... then in front of my daughter flat ask me for my pain pills... I would say that is definately a problem... He had just got fired from his job for that... They wanted me to get back in the docs office in 2 weeks... On antibiotic... i drank Herbal tea every day and lots of water... Bled for a month... finally got it to stop and they took the cath out.. wanted me to have surgery like last week... My Husband told me that sence it was not life treatening.. I was going to have to wait for surgery.for a month or so... BS... Also he is talking about selling my car..to pay bills and already sold Some of my Music equipment... I am the Vocalist/ Musician in the family... he is not... Also he made a call about selling my wedding ring... Yes he got clean enough to go back to work... He left me with no money... My daughter and her husband have been feeding me... My Point is this there comes a time when Forgiveness Is not an Option... Maybe he once was a good man .. But Now... Not so much... and my freinds and Family should not be the ones tring to help me solve these issues... If you would of ask me 18 years ago if this was possiable.. i would have told you No Way... But WAY... I will be 55 years Old soon. and this stinks... And yes I will be getting a Divorce... I have no more chances to give him... They are Gone... I will be starting over again with Not a Darn thing at this age and Cancer... So Really Think about it before you let someone stay in your life because you have history,,, 5 years ago i owned two homes... Now I am looking at looseing the Owner finace thing i have and haveing to stay with friends ... And Sick... Will I survive??? Heck Yeah I will .. because i am one pissed off Witch... Will I forgive him ... Yeah but i would not trust him if My life depended on It... Look where that got me??? I am greatful and thankful for those good freind I have had to hold up a mirror for me to see this is a DEAD end Street... and if i want to Live... i need to depend On ME,,, He would let me die slow and take the pain pills... I can not see that my staying arround would do anything but enable is STUPID behavior... and i would not wish this on my worst enemy... So Think before you keep a Junkie...
i am new to this,but i have been taking hydrcodone for 10 years and now i am going to stop..the drug has been my whole life and i must get off this stuff..today is just my first day..so i have a long road ahead of me..wish me luck..i do not have insurance to go to rehab..does anyone know how to help me without rehab..thanks and keep up the good work trying to get off this
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