He doesn't want to tell people. He has been through inpatient 3-5 day detox programs many times and always wants me to tell people (when they ask) that he is traveling. The problem is I hate lying for him. This time he will be gone 30 days. What is the proper thing for me to do when people ask where he is?
As a one time 28 year drinker and now abstinent for 2.5 years I believe that making excuses will not be helpful. Giving up took 3 weeks and then 6 months of finding myself in the wrong shops. Some people are shitty when you reveal alcoholism but most are pretty good and supportive. People ask now and I say that when I am drinking you can take me anywhere but out. I think you should tell him the truth: that you will no longer enable his drinking problem with lies; it's not good for him and it's not good for you.
Hi, i went in to rehab' in October 2013 and told all sorts of tales about where i was. I didn't want people looking down their noses at me and whispering behind my back. With time i slowly started trusting more and more people with the truth, all of my friends know i have struggled with drinking but not to what extent. I found that everyone was super supportive, that i was doing something hard, to get better. I'm not very secretive about it now, except for when i speak with the women in the group i run once a week as i feel it arguably isn't professional to talk about this. I work with vulnerable women who look to me for support, so in this case i say i was away on an educational course. I hope the rehab' is successful for your husband!
I have been through a few rehabs, almost 7 months clean. If I may give you a straight answer without sounding rude. My advice to you is to just be honest, we need to stop feeling shameful for a disease we are not able to control. You must start with yourself, keep your head up and I'm sure when you tell them you may have more supporters for you. Good Luck to you!
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