I myself am not biopolar but i just left my boyfriend because i found the relationship streesful and difficult to deal with. I felt like i was in a relationship by myself. Secrets played a big part also: I found out that he was in/out of hospitals and he takes geodon and dekapote and has been taking them since he was 15 we are both 34. Is it impossible or safe to have a relationship with someone who is a maniac depressive when your not?
It is possible and safe to have a relationship with someone who is Bipolar when they are stable and doing what they need to be doing to take care of themselves. Whether that is doing groups to gain coping skills, taking medications, seeing a therapist. That is not to say it will always be easy. You did not really specify if all the lies were about his hospital stays and medications or if they were about other things but if it was about being Bipolar, you need to ask yourself if there was something about the whole relationship that led him to believe that he could not be honest about it. It could have been as innocent as hearing someone make a joke and seeing you laugh and then him thinking that you see mental illness as a joke. That is one thing that you should ask him if you are still on talking terms with him. Some people are very senstive about this issue.
Don't rush into anything and educate yourself on this illness. The more you know, the more you can make a decision that you are comfortable with.
First I am bipolar with many other issues. I truely believe it is possible to maintain a relationship with someone who is bipolar. It really does depend on the individual with bipolar to make a strong commit, follow up with all psych and therapy appts. along with maintain medication regiman given to stablize themselves. It aslo requires that anyone that loves this person must want to be able to learn with the individual everything there is to learn about bipolar and any other added illness that may come with it. Knowledge is power in this situation. Of course there will be struggles along the way but it can be done. I have accomplished a new relationship with my daugther, husband and mom since I have now learned alot about bipolar and how it has affected my life. It is a roller coaster ride from ups and downs, irritable, sweet and innocent to many other things. Medication does help but it is a trail and error on finding the right combo of meds to work on the individual.
Im proud to say that I am one of the few who has made things work out between my family and myself to be a happy family and learned to deal with the moments of when the bipolar does take control at times. Learning what triggers highs, lows can be tricky but need to be learned to help keep a balance in your life. It can be done with lots of patience, love, caring and support from loved ones. Wishing you well.
I am 42 male manic depressive, born with it... genetics. I did not ask for this illness nor do I think anyone else who is manic depressive did.
I believe every story has 2 sides to it, and I am just hearing yours, what about your boyfriend, you obviously did not love him enough to stand by him, and you make it sound like we are some sort of horrible people and truth be told we are not, a bipolar person when treated properly can lead a full productive life, like myself and many ohters like me.
You mention he was being treated with 2 medications, so he was trying, but you make it sound like taking medications is a bad thing, like you are ashame of the fact that he needed help, medical help and also your help , for you to stand by him and understand him and support him.
Nothing is impossible in life if one is willing to make an effort, a sacrifice in order to make things work, that is what life is all about, sacrifice, you must fight in order to succeed, things are not easy, as a matter of fact they are very hard, and one must have the strength and courage to face that fact in order to move forward.
My personal opinion is that if you would have loved him you would have stayed with him and worked out a strategy in order to help him, and make the relationship grow, but you found it unsafe and impossible and gave up.-
I am not trying to judge you at all, I am not here for that, but it is a bit dfficult because I am manic depressive and find people like you giving us a bad reputation, like we are some sort of monsters, filled with lies and impossible to have a life with, and I truly find that upsetting with all due respect to you.-
I will not start an argument and I am not attacking you at all, for you are also a human being and just that fact makes me respect you, at the end of the day it is your life, your actions and the consequences of your actions , and well , you know what is best for you, but please do not put us all in the same basket, because that is not how it really is, and it is very unfair.-
By the way after re reading your question, I find that you are hurt and disappointed, and you still love him, so if you are willing to make that sacrifice, to have the strength and courage, well , you know exactly what to do.-
Ask questions. (to help you better understand their situation)
... and ask them to do the same.
Also, you don't have to do it alone. Have friends and family be there for both of you for when times get more difficult.
Make sure your partner understands that they can share anything with you, and be sure to be open to whatever they share.
It's possible... I just wouldn't do it alone.
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