I'm 18 and ever since starting high school I've struggled with who I am. I believe I have ADHD but have never been diagnosed. I used to always be this outgoing fun attractive likable guy and now I'm kind of shy and awkward and I don't really know how to act. I'm very depressed and feel as though I'm inferior to everyone. It wasn't til not very long ago that I discovered adderall. My friend sold me a 20 mg xr tablet and I took it before school and it made me feel on top of the world. Simply put I was social I was confident and overall it just made me the person I want to be and I despise myself and I feel that me without adderall is incapable of doing anything worthwhile. I don't take it every day cuz I'm aware that this feeling would go away but I stop for 3 Or 4 day periods when I know I really won't be needing to do much social interaction but my life revolves around when I will start back up. I come up with great ideas and great things im gonna do with my life when I'm on adderall but then when I'm off it I just think I was stupid for even thinking I was worth it and I get irritable and depressed and hopeless. I'm really confused please just help me understand what I'm going through.