My husband has been using percocets for many? years. He fessed up to me 2 years again. But since then he has claimed to be clean & then I find he is not. Though he has kept a job this whole time he has put us in a serious financial mess. He has pawned cameras, tvs, my jewelry(including my wedding rings!), kids ds. The most recent problem is him going to 2 rent to own store and getting 3 50" TVs and pawning one and giving the others to drug dealers. I work 2 jobs to keep up the household since our bills are overwhelming. We have been to counseling and the whole time he claimed to be clean and even got the counselor on his side by saying the marriage isn't working because "I yell at him all the time." Now for 2 months things seem to be better. He is seeing a drug addiction counselor on his own. He said he is not taking anything but this week I found 2 methodone tablets in his car. Also, he won't tell the rent to own shops where exactly those TVs are. I don't know how to tell if he is really clean, if the methodone is to help with the addiction or just another pill for him to abuse? We have 3 children and I am not leaving because it is my house.
How do I know if my husband is using pain pills... again?
Added 21 Mar 2011:
I have tried to kick him out...many, many times! He doesn't have a key to the house. He comes home from work and bangs on the door till the kids let him in. I do want to get rid of him but I don't know how! He won't leave! I know I have let this go on for too long but the kids are on his side which makes it so much harder.
Added 21 Mar 2011:
Also, the rent to own stuff actually occurred in December and I found out but still have to deal with the collection calls. He has been seeing the counselor and says he's been clean for 2 months. (but are you "clean" taking methodone?) I just don't know what to do. I know I can't change him but I am so stressed and can't even think straight working all the time and trying to raise 3 kids. Thank you for your advice and support.
This is not a "man"... he is still a child. He pawned your wedding rings, and has compromised the safety of you and your children and you've yet to change the locks on the doors to your home? Please, call a locksmith!!
My heart goes out to you, but you need to be proactive here, get rid of him. At least until he proves he is worthy of your love.
Best wishes and be strong,
I hate to tell u this! It sounds like you r such a good person, who means well, and has been thru a lot, but sweetie he is still on drugs. The fact that he pawned your kids stuff, your wedding rings, and rent to own stuff spells out BIG PROBLEM!!! I truly hope your name is nowhere on these rent to own stuff cause I would hate to see u get in trouble for his F up"s. As Sweetlemonsaid change the locks, he is no MAN, but a CHILD himself. U should not be working 2 jobs for his habits and screw ups. Sweetlemon is great when it comes to advice. Please do what you got to do to protect you and your kids. If he really wants to be in y'all's life he will get the help he needs. He can go to rehab and get detox or to a suboxone/methadone clinic, but the meth pills u found in his car r obviously not to help him because that would give him the chance to tell you he is getting help. I was addicted to lortab, percoset, hydrocodone for along time and am in methadone treatment now.
The thought of a painkiller makes me sick. If he gets help at rehab or sub/meth clinic then maybe support him, but I still say he has a lot of making up to do. We r here for u and will support u whether u take our advice or not, so please don't hesitate to talk to us. U will meet alot of great, supportive people here and your husband could benefit from joining this group too. I am gonna friend u and u also need to friend me back. Just go on my profile and click add friend and then if u ever need to talk privately I am here. I will pray for your family and wish u the best and keep me informed. Keep your head up for those kids. YOur new friend, Anna
I have to agree with the other posts. He is no husband nor a man but a cildish addict only thinking of himself. You don't need to jeparodize the safety of your children nor you home for this man. He is treading on thin ground and will end up in jail because of stealing from the rent to own shops. You don't need this danger around you or the kids.
I recommend you seek counseling and support such as you would find in Alanon or Nar-anon. You can google these and find meetings in your area. You will find wonderfully supportive people at these meetings that will teach you tools to deal with the disease of addiction.
There are wonderful people on this site, as you have already found in Anna and Sweetlemon, and we are here for you. Please post any of us as often as you need to.
Wishing you the very best and you are in my prayers,
I agree 100% with all the other posts. He is still on drugs or you wouldn't have to guess if the methadone was treating his abuse or not. Please listen to these wonderful people. I support you and offer my friendship. It's great you found this site and asking for help is a great move. You are NOT alone. Cathleen
There is'nt much i can add to the other posts,just to let you know you're not alone and it is great you've found this site,you'll gain alot of help from it,there's so many kind people here to help.You deserve so much better then what your husband is giving at the moment.
You need to think of you and your kids,he's very selfish and a typical addict -pawning your precious things,denying his problem and also blaming you for things,none of this is your fault,he's the one with the problem and until he gets proper help,get him as far away from you and your kids.
I wish you the very best with it all and we are all here anytime for you.
you are the one who knows if your husband is taking pills.you know how he acted when he was taking them!is he doing this again?if so change the locks on your doors !you and your children deserve better than a child who refuses to grow up !he is putting you in danger of losing your children!because id dss or what ever it's called where you are hear of him doing drugs and all they can take your children!please put the children before how you feel towards your husband !he doesn't deserve you and his children if he isn't willing to get help for his problem!sorry if i seem harish but you asked !
I can only say that I am so very very sorry, through lies and deciet your husband has managed to tear down all the trust you have in him, You are not responsible in any way for this situation, he is going to have to make an honest decision thathe really wants help otherwise this is just a farce, it no longer matters how hard he tries to convince any doctor if he is the one telling the truth he needs to be willing to take random drug tests, both blood and Urine
and he does not need to have any idea as to when its going to happen, if he is telling the truth then the proof will speak for itself but he has to prove that he really is clear with drugs, he has to want to and he has to be man enough to be honest about any questions that you pose to him. It does make me terribly sad because he adds to another problem that grows bigger and bigger every time drugs are abused it only makes things more difficult for people who really live with chronic pain, every time a doctor finds himself/herself dealing with a situation like this it makes it harder for people with real problems to be treated, but you are not responsible for that he is going to have to man up and be totally honest if he expects to have any life filled with quality that does not include him being focused on drugs. again I am so sorry for you having to cope with such a mess
Dig. As tough as it may be & even with your kids beig on his side( He's portraying the "cool" guy & prob. doesn't enforce rules) but that is about the most hype (dope fiend) move I've seen,BUT with MOTHERS trying not to put kids out,but oh yea they're his kids,your between a hype & a hard place but I will say this people cannot continue to take tylonol in the quanity it takes to get high & not have adverse liver probs.
so he could just end up a burden that way(Heath insurance wise)? Ill tell u this though,if he's taking methadone he won't get high after even a little while of taking it & if dude doesnt know what ROCK BOTTOM is then introduce him to heroine & he'll O.D sooner or later but I bet the kids don't have much respect for a guy shitting himself that can't function whatsoever! Hate to say stuff like that & don't really mean someone would do it,but get down to the nitty gritty & that's what dude already is,minus the dope!! I don't know how(obvy you don't) put up with it. If he's on straight M.D then give him a chance(NO SELLING YOUR SHIT)) cuz opiate withdrawal is a bitch with 2 capital B's!! . Tough situation your in but like I said dudes burned up his get out of jail free cards long ago! Good luck.
Hi, Most likely he has started again. I found out a long time ago you can not change people, you are only in control of yourself. Take a good look at your life, if you don't make a change for yourself this is the life you will be living and It does not sound like it is much of a life right now.I have a friend who went though the same thing but with her sons. She is older and broke now and living with her daughter. She almost lost her life. We have been friends for years and I warned her over and over again that she had to change what was going on, as much as it hurts. Sometimes in life you have to make selfish decisions for your own sanity.People have patterns and if something isn't right in their pattern or there are a lot of changes then I would be concern. Your husband seems to have big issues and you can't let him bring you down with him. I can't tell you what to do but I think you should go to therapy on your own and try to become stronger for yourself.
If you get your peace of mind back you will be able to deal with the things around you. I really feel for you and I wish you the best. Please take care and start taking a good look at your life. If this is what you want fine but if you don't then get some help on your own. Your husband has to deal with his own demons. He is the only one that can change himself. You are only in control of yourself. Good luck to you.
There really isn't much I can add to what everyone else said other than this. If he is seeing an addiction counselor you do have the right to talk to his counselor, although he can't tell you anything about what your husband and he talk about or even any information about his recovery, but you can talk to him and let him know what you are seeing at home and ask him for advice and if he can talk to your husband about having a session with the two of you in it. Addiction doesn't only effect the addict but it effects everyone who is in the addicts life. I would also reccommend that you seek counseling for yourself as well. Have you talked to your children about what addiction is? Personally, I wouldn't tell them any unnecessary details because children only need information that is age appropriate for them.
I would also advise that you get your children into counseling, or have family counseling to include your husband if the counselor thinks it would be a good idea. Believe it or not children are not as fragile as we like to think they are and they probably know more about what is going on then you think they do. I can tell you that an addict will only change when they want to change and when they feel they have enough incentive to change. That incentive is different for every addict. 10 years ago I had an addiction to cocaine and it took me losing my children to the foster care system to make me realize the damage that I was doing to myself and my family. That is what finally sent me into rehab and recovery and it took me a year to get them back and I have been clean ever since. I am in pain management and unfortunately have to take pain medications for several severe problems, but my doctors know about my previous addiction and they help me monitor myself along with a counselor that I still see weekly. My husband also helps me monitor my tendencies to not want to deal with life... it takes a lot of therapy and support for an addict to get better, but it also takes a lot of support for the family and ones that love the addict to get healthy themselves and begin to set healthy boundaries. Even if he doesn't want to get better you have to get yourself and your children better and learn how to live for yourselves. The kids may let their dad in when you aren't or are there but you have to find a way to let them know that their dad is not welcome in your house and if they want to see him then you can find a way for them to see him, supervised of course, in a safe enviroment for them and you. Whether that be a park or some kind of public place. You have to protect you and your children. That is the only thing that you can really do. You also have to willing, as hard as it is, to help him as long as he is clean and working on his recovery but you also have to be willing to not help him along in his addiction. For me personally, and everyone is different, it took everyone cutting me out of their lives and leaving me with only two options... either to get clean and get in to recovery and get help or to continue what I was doing and be all alone without anyone in my life until it killed me. It's a tough long road for both the addict and the ones who are closest to them. I have to reiterate that YOU have to get help and get healthy whether your husband does or not. I apologize if some of this seems a little harsh but I am being completely and totally honest. I wish you and your family the best of luck and you will all be in my prayers. ~Lisa~
- Percocet Information for Consumers
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