I am 37 years old , I have never worked a day in my life for i come from a very wealthy family who has always spoiled me beyond belief all my life . I started using heroin in 2005 with my wife and have hooked ever since.I have tried to go to various rehab centers ever since i have used heroin and nothing seems to help me . I have 2 beautiful little children who my wife and i just lost custody to d.c.f.s. because of our drug addictions , I want nothing more in this life than to just get clean and live a productive life. My drug addiction has landed me in Illinois state prisons 8 times over . I lost my mother to cancer in 2007 and now my wife is in cook county jail currently fighting a possession charge . I feel like all hope is gone and i have seriously been considering suicide as a way out of this hell i find myself to be in right at this very moment.It makes very sad and depressed knowing that my family will always give me money when i ask for it to constantly feed my heroin habit whenever i want to get high and escape my problems along with my depression.Now i am at the point that my addiction has gained total control of my life in a mental and physical capacity that i feel like i can't function in life without it.I know if i keep going the way that i am that very shortly i will end up losing my life and everything i care about will be destroyed but yet i still use heroin to cope with my problems. I can't believe that i am still alive right now after all the drugs i continuous put into my body on a daily basis. I read a lot of stories on this website of other peoples story's of there struggles and concerns with wanting to get clean and sober and wanting to live a normal and productive life but so far have been un-successful . I guess what i am asking to whoever will here my cry out for advice and assistance in this matter is as follows. I don't have any medical insurance and i am 37 years old , I don't think any home remedies will help me with my detox and recovery to a clean and sober life.I think i will have to go into a hospital for my detox and suicidal thoughts, I don't really have the nerve to really take my own life when i am sober but when i get high enough on heroin i feel like i could truly carry out my objective of taking my own life which really scares me beyond belief because deep down in my heart i know that i want to live and change my life around for the better. To all the suffering addicts out there that are struggling with this addiction of heroin my heart truly goes out to them because i am in the same boat right now. I just find it so hard to face life on life's terms when i am sober. I miss my wife and children so much that i can't cope with the depression and fears that i will never be able to see them ever again . If there is anyone out there that can throw me any kind of sincere support with this and offer any kind of advice of how and what i can do to keep faith alive in my heart and to give me some kind of positive direction i can be open to try i would most certainly be in debt to that person or persons that can give me some kind of feed back to help me save my life before i end up dead or in jail for life.My heroin habit right now is about $ 500.00 a day everyday right now and i don't think i will live to much longer at the pace i am going at right now so i am running out of time to try and stop this addiction i currently have that is pretty much destroying my life by the second.Please if there is anyone out there that can offer me any kind of honest and sincere help to kick this addiction and depression i have i would most certainly be there up-most debt forever.I tried to dry out the hard way with no medical detox remedies i just went cold turkey and i encountered all kind of extreme various side effects that where so terrible i felt as though i was going to die.So i was forced to go and use again just to take the withdrawl pain away but then i found myself back to square one again and nothing positive came from it which added to my depression and caused me to want to kill myself once again . Is there any kind of remedy that can cure me from this heroin addiction and finally set me free from this white powder devil that has total control over my body the way that it does. Can i get better ? Can i get my life back to a normal state again and be the man i once was ? I seen a lot of home remedies online to help with the withdrawls but it seems like a hoax to me . I tried suboxen before and that helped me get clean for about a month but because of my deep depression that i suffer with i found myself going back to heroin once again to numb myself and make me forget all my depression but i know i am just kidding myself because all that it has done was provide a temporary solution to an everlasting problem and the very next morning when the drug wears off i am still feeling the same depression but more intense which makes me feel even more suicidal (so i am so desperate to know if anyone out there has any kind of suggestions or comments that can point me in the right direction to save my life and finally put this white devil poison to rest and free myself from this hell that i am in once and for all !

Thank You From The Bottom Of My Heart To Anyone That Can Hear My Desperate Cry Out For Help Before I End Up Dead !