My boyfrined is a recovering addict, he has been sober for about 2 years. He recently finished probation which he was on for 3 years in which he was required to take mandatory random drug tests and seek counseling. he came to me after his probation finished and told me that he wants to start smoking pot again. he feels he can do it once a month and be ok with that and keep it under control. i dont believe it, i have seen wayyyyy to much in the last 6 years.. he has also gotten a new prescription for Ambien which is sleeping medication and he is abusing that as well. he doesnt see this as a problem. he takes more than the prescribed dose and then stays awake to feel the high rather than using it to fall asleep. His reason for starting up the pot again is that he now feels that it is part of his core nature and he cant imagine a life without being able to get buzzed. DENIAL in the biggest form if you ask me. I am not sure what to do about this. His bottom is a needle in his vein and i dont want to see him go back to that. he assures me that he would never. i dont believe anything he is telling me. My biggest problem is that I am his only support, he used to listen to me and come to some sort of realization before when he was slipping and get back on track. Now he doesnt want to hear anything I am saying. He says it is my fault if I choose to break up the family because I cant accept him smoking "every once in a while", I am supposed to trust him... i cant do this. And I have tried every tactic I know to get him to see where he is headed, he is more in denial than I have ever seen him and I dont know what is causing this or how I can help, he isnt even admitting that this is a problem right now! Please share some words of advice encouragement, anything.. Thanks :)
hi jaelin, I don't know if there is anything you can do to help him anymore first you have to ask yourself if you want to go down this slippery slope again as i have heard and seen of many people as soon as they are off probation it starts all over again. Are you up to this? Are you married and have children??? If so do you want to put your kids thru this again? Can he go to NA?? Or won't he? Who supports his habit as if it is you working your the one who can put a halt to it. If he's the worker then you have to ask yourself if you want to stay for another falling or maybe passing as it look's like you said he use to shoot up. Can you handle all of this again if need be and are u up to it. Your Friend I hope Lesley
Jaelin I agree with leren give him an altemadium let him know you been there thrugh all of this either stay clean or I'm hitting the roadlet him know you remember it all don't say stay and then do it anyway you'll know you can't help someone who don't want it and now you have to worry about yourself! Which now is the time you do just that. Take cre y/f
I feel so bad for you. Here is an idea. Wait for awhile and after you get many answers telling you, your gut feelings are usually right. Show him your post, tell him you wrote because you see the slope he is on. Show him what you wrote how much it is hurting you. Show him the responses. I can only tell you from my perspective that if I loved you as he hopefully does and I saw how much it was hurting you. It would have an effect on me. It will have to hurt him. Might anger him at first but if he cares he will have an apithany. If he wants to keep you he'll see he is headed in the wrong direction. He must care to have gone this far. Or the threat of the drug testing gone he quit for the wrong reasons. You have to find out. You can't pretend or wish it away or wait long enough for the other shoe to drop. Living with an addict is possibly the worse job in the world.
You need to make him realize. Tell him this is not another Tactic, this is reality that you will now choose not to endure. Will you prevail? I sure hope so like I said it would have me thinking about my actions. Just my thoughts. You do this because you want to keep him not lose him, which you just might if he returns to his old habits. Pot may not be a gateway drug for many but it is for addicts. It is also selfish and unfair to you.
No matter what it is good for you to seek advice here many have been where you are. I hope you find resolution, certainly a positive outcome. Trust your instincts. My prayers are with you.
Leron or Lesley pretty much said it all. He sounds just like my son. "Oh, I can handle it" Oh Right! Right back in jail or what ever. I gave up on him a long time ago. He is an adult & so is your man. They make their decisions & they have to live with them. You don't as Lesley pointedf out so well. Congrats kiddo! I would be outta there in a heartbeat. Do you have a place to go or is this your place, just tell him if he even is going to smoke pot he's outta there! I sincerely believe he will be right back where he was. Will start hanging with the old buddies etc... You know the story so why ask? I know you are looking for answers, but you pretty well answered your own question. He's going right back, & you don't trust him. I hope you don't have kids with this guy.
I can tell you love him, but he doesn't even love himself enough to be able to love you back the same way!I'm sorry, I'm kind of shooting off at the mouth here. I've seen it up close & personal & my own son told me he will always smoke pot. We all know what comes next. Crack whatever! Girl do what you have to do for your own sanity! If you do not want this life then get out now! Just gave my Motherly advice for the 2nd time today. Hope I helped...
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