I have been on prescribed hydro/apap 10/325 since 2006, lower dosages since 2004, then have moved up to 5 a day now. They just don't work anymore and I am going through a ton of stress as a caregiver of my mom who is almost 90 and bed ridden. We are now to the point of catheter and diapers some dementia and little or no help from my 5 older siblings. I had always done well taking my prescription for phsyotica and neuropothy in my feet, told I have RSD.(regional sympathetic dystrophy) and back problems also. I also am given .25 alprazolam /zanex and take a 1/2 to 1 most days at bed time and don't abuse those at all and can take more if needed, have never made cocktails or snorted or any of that. The last 3 months or so since I had shingles in late Dec and took more of my pills than I'm supposed to I just can't get back on track. I find I can take 3 or 4 at a time without even thinking about it. I know I am after the euphoric all is ok feeling that I used to get when I took one or maybe 2 in the am then took the other throughout the day and always saved one for bedtime. I am so angry at myself and terrified to tell my doctor. For the first time a little over a month ago I bought oxy 30's from someone that sells them to get me through and borrowed tramadol. I am a mess but need my meds and need someone to smack me and help me get a plan I must get my ____ together and have not found a site like this where it appears there are real people that know what I'm going through. I spent 300 dollars on extra medicine this month..that I don't have to spend. I feel like I'm loosing my mind and always use the tomorrow I will just take the right amount but don't and just took 3 more before I wrote this. My spouse always wants to borrow so I have no one to give them to me, that doesn't have there own problem and I know God will help me but I have to just admit I need more than that right now and live in a dinky town 132 miles from the nearest Walmart, let alone real help or anyone that isn't my neighbor or old classmate or stepdaughters friend or mom even my Dr is my daughter best friends mom. Don't know if I can do chat have never done this before, but will try and am desperate for help. Thanks for listening..