We have been together for 9 yrs, 2 months ago I put him out hes now living in a shelter. I feel bad,I still love him and miss him. I can't get over the guilt or him. How do I move on, do I waititout andhope he will get cleanis there even that chance.
Cocaine addiction is a tough one to overcome. Relapse rate is very high. None the less, it is possible if your boyfriend really wants to get clean. Getting addiction's counseling and facing the issues that lead him down this road in the first place is critical. If he is unwilling to face the facts, then I would move on. You don't want to be second to his addiction.
There are free programs like Narcotics Anonymous to help the addict. There is also Nar anon for family and friends of the addict. You can google Nar anon and locate meetings near your location. They will help you understand the illness of addiction and how to cope with it.
Hi nmbr1 - So sorry for your pain, and for your boyfriend's addiction... sorry to say, I've been there, and its not easy. My life and work revolve(d) around music, and got in with the crowd that was doing that... it was tantilizing in a nasty way, but is one of those things that will either take you all the way down to he..ll before you wake up, or you will realize that it is so bizarre and so different from anything you've ever known in life, that it's scary! One can get very paranoid and quickly! You may pm me, if you would like to, but can't add much to the responses above... says it all... find a program for yourself and do a lot of praying for him. You don't give much background, so I hope he is somewhat aware of what he is losing... Good luck and God Bless!
Welcome to the site,you will learn and come across alot of people in the same situation as you are in.
I feel for you as i understand you still love this man and after beiing together so many years,it was a tough decision for you to put him out-but a brave one at that!
You should not feel guilty for the choice you have made,as you stated in the comment above he was selling and pawning all that you owned and probably built together!
There is only a chance that he will clean up his act if he wants to quit,that is HE wants to and only he can decide that,he has to hit rock bottom before he can decide what road he wants to take-the road to recovery or the road to ruins,i dont mean to sound hurtful but i need to be blunt in order for you NOT to blame yourself or let him make you feel guilty.
I am a recovering cocaine addict and i could only quit and make amends for all the hurt i caused when i was ready to quit for myself first! I pushed my family away,stole from those i loved dearly andd thought of nothing or noone but myself and my next fix.I didnt care who i hurt or how hard my parents were trying to help me-it made no difference until i decided enough was enough and i was done with that life!!
You have done what you could to help your boyfriend,if he does'nt want to help himself then you need to help yourself,you have to look after yourself my friend,you need to stay strong and believe in yourself and trust that you made the right decision!!
I hope your boyfriend will see what he's missng with you out of his life,and get a wake up call and i wish you the very best!!
Take care and remember look after yourself!!
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