I recently realized how anxious I was all my life, since I was a little boy. I once read that there is some correlation between e.g., parents organizational skills, parents felling of security given to the kid and anxiety fellings. I dont think I ever felt secure. I was very good at school and ended up going a top 5 university. But between those years I had deep depressions, some psycosis (I think thats what it might be, not being able to control my thoughts and having self destructive thoughts, just realized this after watching the movie Black Swan). I m also left handed. When I spend time withipeople and see ahead regular contact with friends i fell great, solid, clear in mind capable of loving someone, when I dont see ahead the chance of going for a beer with a couple of friends, bang, There ut cimei agoin. Sometimes i think this might have been agravated throughout the years due to sleep deprivation. As a kid it would take me prob 2 hours to fall asleep, and there I was in bed, thinking about many things sometimes about the whole day sometimes about my parents unevitable death and very very scary was the problem of my own death. This from 5 to 22... Now I m 28 and have a good carrier in looking ahead but these anxiety period, depression symptomes that cycle in and out seem to smash my attempts to live a normal life, I dont have a girlfriend for about 5 years now and it not because of the looks, I simply feel deeply insecury and ashamed of it to even tell a women that might like me that lets go for a drink... I am also bridging 3 very different cultures. Please if you can help a good guy that believes deeply in people, humour, love, commitment and hardwork please talk with me about this big topic for so many men and women out there.