... done so he probably got it from there. he didnt have any further tests done yet, so we still dont know his cd4 yet or anything. im devastated. i really want to know what to expect. he was also recently diagnosed as diabetic. please help me and give me any useful information because i am totally ignorant about this. i tried to read stuff on the net but it's all so confusing.
Well I want to start off by saying I am sorry that you have learned this news. While not life ending, restructuring your life is tough when you don't know what your faced up against. I have been living with HIV for around 6 years and I can honestly say that its no walk in the park but with education you can learn how and what to do with your new life.
As far as website information I have found that http://thebody.com is a great resource for new and updated information about HIV. Make sure you start off with recently diagnosed "tab" to kinda get some basics. Everyone has different experiences with the virus but I can tell you that for me I wasn't going to take over my life.. I run it NOT letting it run me!
I would recommend that you both go to a counselor/therapist to help you transition emotionally. Everyone I know infected has had the beginning lulls. I too would be kidding everyone to say that I didn't go through it myself but with time and education your heart and mind heals.. and boy can you make it heal quickly.
Most people who know me really have no clue that I am positive because with the help of friends, education, doctors, and personal goals, I have managed to live a rather normal quirky life.
For me HIV turned me into my own doctor. I watch what I eat, know all the side effects of really any medicine that I ingest, know what to watch for when a cold comes on, and the list could go on. My doctor is awesome but using them as a sounding board only enforces what I have learned and how much I really don't know. Don't worry its not going to happen overnight so don't try to cram everything in your head!
As you mentioned that reading stuff on the net is confusing... That's because you haven't learned the "Buzz words" associated. Don't sweat it... What I started off with was a list of my top 10 concerns and I just asked someone that was HIV positive for 20+ yrs. I think here now with the advent of support groups online you can get rather quick answers to your questions.
Really I know that I am not directly answering a specific question but I was compelled to write to you and tell you that its going to be ok. I am living proof and there are so many others. What ever specific thing you think of post it on here and let the group assist. Use your unspoken friendship with the new friends on the support group so you can move forward and help your husband and yourself live well.
All the best,
I second the response from surfs up. No doubt this is a trying time for you both. Let me say that the method of transmission (dentist) is concerning, now is the time for support and education. The website www.thebody.com is a fantastic starting point. Look in your community for support organizations, therapists, and doctors who can provide knowledgeable information. Also, contact your state or county's health department for referrals to a reputable INFECTIOUS DISEASE (ID) doctor. An ID doctor will usually be trained in the details and specifics of HIV.
As scary as this might be - it is NOT a death sentence. I have been diagnosed with AIDS for over 20 years now and am still going strong. Now is the time to not only focus on HIV, but also his diabetes. HIV can be controlled. But the more out of control the diabetes becomes, the more stress on the body and it's immune system. So - don't forget about that!
Best of luck to you and your husband. Educate yourself and ALWAYS ask questions!
Sweetheart, let me explain something very, very important to you. First of all you had better get your blood checked for HIV. If you have had intimate relations with your husband during the time frame you stated it can be transmitted to you through semen, etc. Also, a person can be HIV+ for years and not know it, because the virus can lie dormant & become active later on. You should also from now on use latex condom protection! This virus is treatable, but currently there is no cure and the meds are getting better & more tolerable. It has been documented in the mid 80's & early 90's that some people were exposed to HIV through their dentist & some doctors acquired it from their patients & also blood transfusions. However, now that situation is EXTREMELY RARE. All doctors, dentists, etc are required by law to take stringent measures to prevent the transmission of HIV. All intruments, etc. must be sterilized.
In any case, we all know in any profession there is always someone lazy & careless out there who doesn't always follow the rules all the time, such as staff members, etc. But for the most part, these people are NOT going to take that kind of risk with every Tom, Dick & Harry coming in for treatment. We trust our dentists & doctors and for the most part they are responsible & professional people, but there is always an open window somewhere. Now, let me be upfront with you . . . 99.9% of the time HIV is contracted through sexual contact with another HIV+ person, and or the use of HIV infected intravenous drugs. You cannot get HIV through kissing or casual contact. It is in the blood period. I have had HIV for 13 years. My husband not only exposed me to HIV, but also Hepatitis C which is also deadly. He died 9 years ago from drugs & alcohol abuse & liver disease complicated by the diseases. Unfortunately he also had the virus and passed it on to me without my knowing. HIV destroys the immune system which leaves the door open to every kind of bug and virus out there. I guess I am one of the lucky ones as far as survival rate goes, but I am 59 years old now & to be honest this disease has taken a toll on me. It can be very dibilitating at times. But, there is always hope out there & I recently read on the internet where scientist are getting closer & closer to discovering a possible cure. This is nothing to be embarrassed about .. . . . do not jeapardize your health. The medicines are horrible & make me sick sometimes, but I am at least still alive. People are living longer now, and in fact I know of a person that is 82 years old who has survived for years with the disease. The disease is considered treatable as a cronic disease such as diabetes.Since your husband is diabetic his infectious disease specialist will have to take great care in the type of medicines to treat him with. I hope somehow my story has helped you. Just take care of things now. Ava.
How do you know, proof, that he was infected by his dentist? I've heard that heartbreaking story way too many times . . . to cover up risky behaviors.
It's very unlikely that he got infected from a dental procedure. I'd be careful to follow up with that accusation. There may be (probably) other activities your husband has been engaged in, that you know nothing about, until now.
But, at this point, it's not so important to know how he got HIV. What is VERY important at this stage is to get yourself tested ASAP, have frank and honest conversations with your doctor and his doctors (hopefully he is connected with an Infectious Disease Doctor, that you do not have sex with him except protected sex. He may have been HIV positive for a long time, without either of you knowing.
That's the main way HIV is spread. People just assume that "married" means "safe". Not true. Difficult to wrap our minds around sometimes, since "marriage" is sort of a fairy-tail.
Anyway, get tested now and then in six months and frequently thereafter. In my case, I tested negative 9 years ago after some risky behavior. They scheduled me to return for follow up tests, but I did not go back. I've been celibate since then. But, guess what, I started getting sick 2 years ago, and then this year, was diagnosed with full blown AIDS (KS, PCP and CMV. I do not wish this story on anyone. And frankly dishonesty with sexual partners is the number one means of assumption to infecting others. (IMO) Dishonesty is probably the number one cause of spread of HIV. (IMO)
Search for questions
Still looking for answers? Try searching for what you seek or ask your own question.
Updated 17 May 2013 • 4 answers
Updated 27 Feb 2018 • 2 answers
Updated 14 Aug 2012 • 3 answers
Updated 9 Sep 2014 • 2 answers
Updated 2 Nov 2014 • 3 answers