ive bin talkin 2 afew people on ere n askin afew questions 4 a lil help, i just need 2 talk 2 sum 1 as i realy domnt no wot 2 do. ive helpd my partner through alot since i found out he woz stil on heroin, the 1st time i found out i got him in touch with al the right people n he got the help he needed n woz 115 days clean n sober, then i catch him again 1st of al he told me he only relapsed on coke n it woz only 4 10 days, then after 1 wk of hel he told me it woz heroin so again i helpd him but not 2 the lenths i did the 1st time. i got him on suboxone started with 8ml then 12ml now finally hes on 16ml, he used on the 1st 2 then said the 16ml is holdin him, the 1st time round he made me ill but the 2nd time round he killed me ive bin in hospital 2ice 4 an over dose the 2nd time i woz in hospital i realy died but they brought me bk n woz on a life surport machine 4 3 days, wen i got out he relapsed again but askd me his excuse woz it woz his brovs anniversary n then promised on his brovs grave he wont touch it again. after 2 days he askd me could he smoke puff instead of heroin i said i dont mind coz its better than smokin heroin, so thats wot hes bin doin n its bin ok. then this mon came n hes bin realy weird since but tellin me that my mind is over loadin as norm coz ive kept askin him wots wrong or wots goin on n he said nofin then this mornin wen makin the bed i found a lil plastic bag wraped up in tissue there woz stufff stil in it n it didnt taste nice n left my toungue numb ive askd him n al he said woz it could of bin there ages, but no as it woznt there mon or yesday but woz this mornin n the place i found it sum 1 would of had 2 do that not like he said it could hav fallen out of his clothesthe jeans he had on he hasnt worn 4 months n they hav bin washed (so thats crap) i luv him with al my heart n dont want 2 lose him but i no i cant do this anymore im fed up with al the lies this is his 3rd time now. he reckons it is gear but hes not touch any since not mon just gone but last, so i askd if i could test him but he wont let me as he said he aint done anyfin wrong, so i said if uve got nofin 2 hide he wil no matter wot, also i said i want him 2 prove me wrong n call me names as that mite give me a kiss up the bum in 2 believin him but he didnt answer n stil hasnt. i luv him soooo much but wot do i do as i cant go through anymore, im waitin at the mo 4 him 2 cum ome (not til l8tr) so we can talk but i no wots gona happen hel kick off n walk out on us n blame me 4 all of this i no hes done it i just cant prove it at the mo unless he lets me do a test (cant c it) fanx 4 listenin any 1 out there
kirsty xx