becoming dependent to this site, and not look into myself to find the strength to go on. Another time I'm crying; isn't that a weakness? When I'm home I'm crying most of the time because I can't dedicate myself to my children. At work I feel somehow better. It's the second Easter, and I'm feeling dead... I went to see my doc yesterday... he was like "You will be yourself again etc etc" and he was asking me do you think we should stop wellbutrin... So he is asking me what we should do... okay... After, he was telling that he will be tapping me of from effexor xr and who knows I will better than... How he can think that while I'm crying on a daily basis. I have brown eyes, but now all I see is red eyes from crying so much and dark circles. I went and bought some cosmetics because I cant stand any more people at work telling me ..Why you have changed so much--- you look pale etc... A year ago my bag was full of cosmetics for me, pony tails for my daughter, diapers for my son and now is full of drugs that are doing nothing... I'm sorry ... I can;t write anymore... I'm crying and I dont want my children to see me like that...
in the words of bob..dont worry be happy... u need to relax take a deep breath and enjoy life... (im depressed myself) butt i dont let it take control of me... i get out and enjoy things i love besides medications..i know things can get rough but think about it this way..its not gonna get better unless u think its not... in otherwise u can make yourself feel how u wanna feel. mind is a powerfull thing... i hope this is wat u were talking about
Eleng, the tears can be exercise for the nerves, although I know you don't want to be crying all the time. If it is a small outburst of tears, then that is going to soothe you. May I ask if you are going to a psychiatrist for your anti depressants, and to treat the depression? The reason why I ask is not to embarrass you or be rude, it is because a psychiatrist will be a much better judge of how these anti depressants should be working for you. It does sound like you are clinically depressed, I always thought that meant you can't get out of bed, but it really means you function at the lowest level you can get by with, you can still function somewhat. I think I remember you being in Canada, if you are, I know it is harder to get the treatments you need quickly.
Can you ask around and find a psychologist who specializes in clinical depression, if you can't get on with a psychiatrist who does this.When you are at work, you are taking the focus off you to do your work efficiently, when you are at home, it is too hard to not give into those dark, cold feelings. I actually think you are doing a good thing in coming here and at least letting it all out and finding some support. I am not sure what else to say, just wanted to let you know that I am saying some Prayers for you and hope that you start feeling better soon. Pattishan
Eleng, I understand! Ive had some bad days lately, just cry and some days really don't know why. I wish I could work, don't get out of the house much. If you haven't been in our shoes, you don't understand. You sound like me, just want to be normal again! I will keep you in my prayers and I do understand. Just don't know what to tell you, Im a mess to, and some of the people on here really help me just talking, but some days thats not enough. All I know to say is hang in there. And my doc makes me so mad sometimes, he is like oh you look good today, well then why don't I feel good? Ya know. Sometimes I think they don't know what to do and don't listen, I make my doc stop and I say did you hear me!!! Anytime you want to talk sent me a private email. Your friend Von-1 (vonnie)
I find what works for me is positive thinking. If I let myself, I can fall down a long tunnel of despair. Before my oldest son was born I had to be hospitalized with depression. I think I felt a lot like you. I cried all the time, nothing made me feel happy, life had no meaning and I was like an empty shell. Then I got pregnant and I thought OMG! this is the worst! How can I bring a baby into this mix!? But it was one of the best things that could have happened to me. It took the focus off myself! I stopped thinking about me all the time. After many years, as my kids grew, I realized how powerful positive thinking is. Find SOMETHING to be glad for. Your babies are a good start. Focus your energies on them. Think about the good things. It is not easy and it takes forcing yourself at first. Those bad thoughts keep wanting to creep in there but the more you do it, the easier it gets. Volunteer if you can.
You will then meet people much worse off than you and you begin to realize some things are trivial. I always think of a saying my grandmother had (she was a hoot!) She used to say "Scratch your ass and get glad because you are the only one who can make yourself feel better!" She was right. I'm not sure where she got the saying and what scratching your ass has to do with it but that was her! lol My mother always says "Your life is what you make it" If you want a good life you work hard to make it that way. Start thinking positive! See the sunshine, see the Springtime, its a renewal of life and a good time for a new start! I never felt better on anti depressants. Only the positive thought was able to drag me out of that hole! Find what works for you. Your babies count on you. They love you and they need you. They want to see you smile and be happy. Dont let yourself despair. Be strong and be positive! Give of yourself to others. It does work! Hang in there girl! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hello there eleng. good to see you again. The site is a good place to be when feeling the pits. You've a lot of friends here, and nope! dependent on a site, not at all. We all take from one another. One day so and so then another time, she, he, you know. I take, and its selfish, in only as much as its helping me, to become well. Eleng, your meds are working. They might need to be adjusted. Or possibly changed. Often, it takes more time for one person to heal, than say another. Crying is good. Its theraputic. Times are hard for you. I'll share this with you. Its not a secret, there are days when I think... stinking thinking I call it. I can really get down on myself. And justifiably, I reason it all out. My past, present and so on. But, its a major but, I pluck away, at myself. Do silly things, sing out loud, talk to myself, talk to my dogs, and silly, almost idiotic as it may sound it helps me. Your pain, will go away. It lessens itself, only it takes time.
I've used this for many years. It goes like this... Fear, is the anticipation of pain. I use this almost daily. Once I begin to fear less, my inner hurt, that hurt that never wants to leave, slowly does so. And, not immediately, the worry(s) that comes with that pain, also starts to dissapear. You are special because you want to help yourself. Remember that. I mean, we all are. We all have our times, and we do the best we can to try and make it better. Sounds so simple huh? A dr. once told me, keep it simple. Ha!! Me, simple... ;-0) right! But, he was right. I complicate issues to the enth degree. Best of wishes eleng, you are strong, take what you need from the site, we are here for one another. Each and everyone of us.
Hi eleng - I feel your pain, as that was me for so very long. All I can tell you is to keep on plugging, as it does get better. I have good times, then back to bad times - but the good times are so worth it! I find that every so often I have to get off all the psychiatric meds to find out just what we are treating now, as things change. It can be very hard, and you have to do it by tapering your meds and only with your doctor's help, but cleaning out your body and starting over can make such a difference! I've had doctors who didn't want me to do this, but I told them it is my body - and they helped me get off of the meds. It is your body, and if what you are on isn't working, it doesn't always mean add more meds. I just want to encourage you - and, if I may, suggest going to church.
Yes, I'm a Christian, and I want everyone else to be - but there are other reasons: There is potentially a good support system there with very positive people - people like you need to surround yourself with! There is music there - and music can really touch and minister to the soul. There are good things for your children to do there also. Be encouraged - as long as you are breathing there is hope, and things and situations can and do change.
Please don't ever think you are bothering us. There are lots of people here to support you, including me, just have to reach out and let us know. We really do care. What dosage of Wellbutrin are you on now? Is the doctor tapering you off the Effexor so to try a different antidepressant? I think you need to tell him that you can not be expected to function without some help. You have been depressed too long and need assistance. It is possible that the Wellbutrin could be enough but I would be leary if it hasn't helped yet. I don't remember what antidepressants you have tried. Please re suggest to the doctor that he prescribe the medication Abilify, it will help the antidepressant work better. Also, you may want to have blood work done to check to make sure your thyroid is functioning properly. Have they done that?
There is a solution to the problem, honest. We just have to keep searching for the correct medications for you. Talk to the doctor about trying Pristiq or Cymbalta along with the Wellbutrin and maybe eventaully adding Abilify. Have the blood work done, if you haven't already, to check for chemical reasons for the depression.
Wishing you the very best and continueing to pray for you,
Sweetie, I feel for you because I have been there, but kind of like DzooBaby said positive thinking, I call it "kick myself in the butt time, & pull yourself up by your bootstraps time"! Sometimes you have to think about others, & if that's you kids then you just have to do it. Quit feeling sorry for yourself! It's really hard, but I know you can do it. Maybe all these meds are what's doing this to you. How were you before the meds?When did this all start, & what happened in your life to cause all this. If you can start to answer some of these questions, I'll think if you think positive, & realize the love you really have in you, & for yourself,you &your kids will make it. I have that faith in you, & stay here for this support...
I hope this Saturday morning finds you feeling some better, didn't mean to allow this much time to pass without checking on you, it's very easy to say that things will be better again especially when you don't truely feel that it's going to happen like that, You need the support of people who understand and I do, there are many on here that care, I do also please keep on keeping on, as hard as it is I am sure it sounds like an old recording but it is the truth, I want you to know that you are continually in my prayers! Please let us know how you are doing
All these posts are very informative. I am just one of those lost souls looking for answers too. In fact I was just crying for "no reason" yesterday. And like you I am addicted to this site but I don't think that's a bad thing!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and you are NEVER a bother. Please post whenever the urge strikes you and to know u are not alone. Cathleen
I saw your post and just wanted to say Hello... You are not alone here, I was just looking around and saw your post. I wish I had seen it a day or two ago. Please keep posting and keep reaching out... The folks here, well most, really do know what they are talking about. It is a wonderful support system. I hope today is a good day for you, and that tomorrow is even better. Please take care of yourself, and again, I just wanted to say Hi and let you know, We are out here...
Hi Eleng, I am so sorry that you feel so terrible. I have felt like you do many years ago. I went to a Therapist who really helped me a lot. He was not a Psychiatrist but a Social Worker with a Masters Degree in Mental Health. I have been fine until my Doctor put me on Wellbutrin. It was not for depression, but to help me to quit smoking. She started me on a low dose and told me to gradually increase it to 150mg. I got very depressed, started crying a lot and even felt suicidal. I realized that it had to be the Wellbutrin. I called my Doctor and she told me to taper off gradually and then stop. It took about a month for me to feel normal again. She told me that SSRI'S can cause this. I was wondering if this could be your problem?
As for your Doctor asking you if you wanted to stop the Wellbutrin, he may have had a good reason. He really can't know how you feel. Only you can know your own body and how you felt before you started taking the med and how you feel
now. My Cardiologist asked me the same thing recently about a new med he had put me on and I told him I wanted to go back to the one I had been taking before. He changed it and I feel much better. I have a relative and a friend who are Nurses and I asked them if Doctors always do this. Both of them said, Doctors should ask their Patients if they are feeling better or worse when they prescribe a med but a lot of them don't do it. Sounds like your Doctor did the right thing.
Why don't you have another talk with your Doctor about all of your meds?One or all of them might be causing your problems. I know it is hard, but try to focus more on your family and try to think positive. I will be praying for you. Let us know how you are doing. Pat
Apr22? I hope you've talked to someone before now? Stop listening to other people, easy to say huh? Do you pray? It helps, counseling didn't help me. I thought Lexapro was but I was wrong, I'm now trying to come off it-not fun. A lot of crying and dizzy spells, nausea, all that good stuff. You're not alone! Enjoy your kids, they'll be grown before you know it. Take a deep breath and say a prayer, listen to some peaceful, maybe even christian music. I'm getting ready to turn on a song "we'll be held". Not sure who sings it but I need to find it. Take Care...
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