Honestly, I meant no harm. I didn't mean to sound like I was taking away your voice or, or anything.
I keep thinking about our interactions here, too; like you said you can't get it out of your head.

In my life, I am/have been the victim, instigator, shit disturber, have caused problems in my life and family's life and yes, I too, think I should have the
'right to slap myself upside the head'.
If that's what you meant or whatever it is I really didn't mean to take away your right to iterate how you feel/felt about yourself.
I don't know if this will ever get resolved, and for that I feel sad.

Hopefully, we can both get passed this.