I WANT OFF OF MY GEODON! IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY! The 3rd day after my C-Section I woke up and thought I was going insane! I was diagnosed with Post Partum Psychosis- worse than post partum depression. I was in shock. I had heard it mentioned before but never knew anytthing about it. I do have a history of depression and am 46 years old(kind of old to be having my first and ONLY child now). I went through this mania/like insane state for 13 days (while being put on Prozac .- which I DID NOT want to take AT ALL but the DR.S said it helps PPD right away. And trazedome which did not remotely help me sleep because I was in such an insane mania. My entire family (mom, dad, step-mom, brothers, sisters, friends were all at the house trying to help in anyway because I COULD NOT POSSIBLY EVEN THINK OF TAKING CARE OF MY NEW BORN DAUGHTER, SOPHIE. (OF WHICH I ALSO WAS EXPERIENCING OVERWHELMING GUILT BECAUSE SHE WAS MY BABY AND SHE NEEDED HER MOM. i LAYED IN BED FOR 13 DAYS GOING INSANE AND FILLED WITH FEAR THAT WORDS CAN NOT POSSIBLY DESCRIBE. EACH FAMILY MEMBER WOULD TAKE TURNS EVERY 45 MINUTES AROUND THE CLOCK SITTING IN THE DARK BEDROOM WITH ME HOLDING MY HAND WHILE I SHOOK, CONSUMED WITH FEAR AND DEEP INDESCRIBABLE LONLINESS. GOING INSANE. I COULD NOT SPEAK OR BARELY MOVE POSITIONS IN THE BED BECAUSE I WAS PYSICALLY INCAPABLE DUE TO MY MENTAL STATE TO EVEN BARELY MOVE A PART OF MY BODY.I DI NOT KNOW I WAS IN A MANIA, WHICH THEY TOLD ME IN THE HOSPITAL AND EACH DAY IT GOT WORSE AND WORSE. IT WOULD TAKE 15 MINUTES FOR ME TO TAKE ONE BABY STEP AT A TIME TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND SOMEONE (ususally my mom) WOULD GO IN THE BATHROOM WITH ME AND HOLD MY HAND SO I WOULD NOT BE ALONE. I COULD NOT BE ALONE! I WAS FILLED WITH DEBILITATING AND PARALYZING FEAR. My family went through 13 days of this with me which was what saved my life! Well so during those 13 days I stayed on Prozac hoping I would be cured while it was making me feel crazier. Why I didn't just stop taking it, I don't know? I guess because I was in a frozen state of mine and just did what the dr said. I went 13 days going insane at home. Finally on Day 13 I told my mom I am going to jump through her window-I couldn't take the insanity and paralyzing fear ANYMORE and told her I was scared I might do something to myself but NOT MEAN TO because of the mania and prozac and my state of mind. My mother is a close friend of my DR.S so she called him at home immediately and told him what was going on and he asked to talk to me(i could barely still not speak) and I begged him to get me straight into a room at the hospital and SEDATE ME IMMEDIATELY... KNOCK ME OUT... DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT STOP! I told him I couldn't take it anymore. And I told him I never wanted to take Prozac (because of neg. opinions I have of it!) and said it was not helping at all. He said he would call the hospital and have a room ready for me right away. I begged him to please hurry! He called back 5 minutes later and said go to the second floor Rm. 222 and they are waiting on you. My dr. told them to give me a 20mg shot of Geodon, 2mg xanex and in 15 minutes it kicked me out of the 13 day mania state I was in. Well, since then (18 months ago)my dr. has increased my Geodon to 160 mg (80mg 2 times a day). I am better compared to when it first hit me but it has been a SLOW PROCESS, still experiencing bad days-panic attacks, fear, overwhelmingness- signs of PPD. I thought it was supposed to be over in a few months or so of taking the Geodon and seeing a therapist but NO IT WAS NOT AT ALL.But the past 8 months have been hell for me almost backsliding back into PPD symptoms. So I told my dr. I wanted OFF of it and that I had researched it and someone with PPS should ONLY be on it for several months then taken OFF of it. I have stacks of reputable research on Geodon and Post Partum Psychosis. But he said no that I still needed to take it even though I explained I felt like it was starting to have a reverse affect on me (ehich I have read about can happen) I am not bi-polar and that is one of the medicines a person with bi-polar is given. So, after several visits and him not getting me OFF of it I decided to DO IT MYSELF SLOWLY weaning from 160mg (80mg) 2 times a day to 80mg (1time a day. It took me 3 months to just do that and now I have hit a brick wall. I tried taking 60mg and ABSOLUTELY FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO LOSE MY MIND THE ENXT TWO DAYS SO I WENT BACK TO 80 MG. Since about a month ago, I have tried 6 times to cut my dose even to 70 mg and CAN NOT DOI IT. I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING CRAZY. I am seeing a liscenced therapist along with my Geodon and Lexapro. Please someone who knows about Geodon, help me, because I have hit a road block and CAN NOT seem to cut my dosage lower than 80 to wean off of. I WANT OFF THIS TERRIBLE MEDICINE. IF I KNEW HARD HARD IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TO GET OFF OF THIS DEBILITATING MEDICINE, I NEVER WOULD HAVE TAKEN IT BUT IN THE HOPITAL THE FIRST TIME. Now still at 80 mg, a month later, I feel like I am going crazy with anger, insomnia, shaking like the worst case of the flu, craziness in my head til where I think I am losing it. Before I had my daughter all I took was lexapro for depression. THAT'S IT. JUST LEXAPRO. Since her birth and the Geodon, I feel like I am going insane and having terrible mental and emotional terror. I feel depressed, alone, doomed, angry, resentful, worthless, sad, lost, misunderstood, anxious non-stop, fear, panic, overwhelmingness, and thoughts ... just thoughts (would never act on them) of dieing because this medicine is ruining my life and casusing me to feel like i'm losing it. But I have to get off the 80 mg but can't seem to, DOES ANYONE WITH EXPERIENCE OF GEODON KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO? If I knew I wouldn't end up having a psychotic episode like it says I couled, I would stop it cold turkey but I LITERALLY CAN NOT DO IT. I CAN NOT HANDLE THE WITHDRAWALS OF EVEN CUTTING 10MG OFF THE 80MG TO MAKE IT 70 MG. I feel like I've reached a point where I can no longer wean off of it. And I AM NOT staying on this medicine. IWANT OFF SOON. It's affecting my family, relationships, my marriage, my sanity, my mothering etc. Please someone help me and tell me how to get off of the 80 mg. I need help quick! Sorry for the long story but, this has been my life for the past 18 months and I want off of the Geodon. Plus I put on 60 pounds after taking it which is common but no one told me that either. I'm just worried about my sanity right now. This medicine is about to drive me over the edge.!
PSS.: MY DR. DOESNT KNOW I THAT HAVE AM NOW DOWN TO HALF MY DOSE SINCE HE TOLD ME NOT TO GET OFF OF IT. I GO TO THE DOCTOR TOMORROW AND I GUESS I WILL TELL HIM.