I have wanted to write in, but chicken out, at the last minute. Lol. I'm in a situation, that I've not had to deal with before. I mean, I grew up a little poor, so I know what that's like. I struggle communicating what to say, and how to express myself, so please be patient w/me. Lol. I wrote in several months ago, about my two older sons. One is a drug addict, and the other alcoholic. My 19 yr old came to live with us to get clean. Was here four months, and spent a chunk of money taking him to three Dr.s, Orthopaedic Surgeons, before we found one who could perform the kind of surgery he needs on both feet. They are deformed, and its called Subtaylor Joint Coalition. We scheduled his surgery for Dec. 19th, and had to put several hundred,s of dollars down, before he would do the surgery. Non-refundable. He not only skipped out on the surgery, but called one of his buddies, back home, and left two days before Christmas. He went in to treatment, and quit it at mid point, I found out two days ago. Well, to both of our surprise, my husband lost his job recently. He just found another job, but this couldn't have happened at a worse time. I love my son, but he drained our savings, and we're hurting so bad financially, that my husband put one of our vehicles on a loan, just to pay for my meds. without insurance. I just ran out of one this morning, and no money to pay for it. My husband takes our little guy to kindergarten in the mornings, and I pick him up. For the last several days, I completely fall apart, and cry nonstop for two to three hours, and try and get it all out, before I pick him up. I'm not sure what my question is really. But this happening, on top of other family issues, has thrown me into major depression. And I didn't mention that our youngest had tubes put in his ears, and Adenoids removed. Which we had to put money down on, before he lost his job. We are completely broke, and got a notice to pay rent by seven days, or we'll be avicted? One of our friends loaned us enough money for rent, and our landlord dropped the court issue. But we were told, he would put our home up for sale in May. Meaning we'll have to move, because it will sell fast. I have an upcoming app. On the 20th, to see my pain Dr. I can't even tell you how overwhelmed and depressed I am. I have very little friends I can talk to about this, because, I fall apart, as soon as I start talking. I could really use some genuine support, and some kind of encouragement from my friends on here, that has always been there for me. Thank you, in advance, for any help. Ruthie
I said a prayer for you Ruthie. I am a believer in Prayer. I know life can be hard at times. Just make sure you don't let your depression get worse, you will want to talk to your doctor about this so he knows, so you can cope. Try to tackle one thing at a time. Don't focus at it all at once because it will make it hard to handle. Money is such a pain sometime. I know I'm going through some tough times because of it too. But I try to be thankfull for what I do have. Take one day at a time, that will help!
I will also pray for you, please have faith all will be ok. I have been in very bad situations before and if it wasn't for God grace I would have never made it. I can quarantee you that he will never give you more than you can handle. Get to a doctor and tell him about you depression and get the help you need.
I'm here for you. I'm praying right along with us all. You have good reason to cry so give yourself a break. It will all work out the way it is suppose to though may not feel so good along the way. I wish I could do more than offer abit of encouragement. You are certainly welcome to call me. I'll be home in the morning and would love to hear from you.
I too as you know am a believer in prayer. There is not a day goes by that I do not mention you and your husband in my prayers as well as many other people that I have come in contact with here . God will answer your prayers, but he ask for a little something from us too, and that is called faith. Have faith my dear friend and the Lord will surely intervene.
Dear baby, we should talk more. We were for awhile and then you sounded like things were better. I'll pray for you harder. My heart is breaking for you. Maybe your home won't sell that quickly. Go online- and do a search for discount prescription cards, unless you already have one. It might help a little.
It's hard because they go on the income of the previous year.
Last night, we completely disassociated our selves from my son's son. He got on a state program, where he can have a cell phone for $40 a month. We spent a $100 to get him a qualified phone-about $60 than he told me. Then last night he came over, he wanted money and us to drive him around town. I told him no-He busted the hinges on the door. I had to crawl out of a high window, and shove and throw myself at the door to get it open. We had to prop things against the door to hold it up- and I slept on the couch with my shotgun. When Home Depot opened up, I and my other grandson, who had to climb in a window that I opened for him-he works from 6-midnight, we got the door repaired. It's an old timber door, so it wasn't busted, just the frame. I had to keep the hounds either outside or walk them to my room and lock them in-so they wouldn't somehow get out.
Right now my son and I are arguing. My son's immune system seems to be going, and mine isn't good because of the radiation treatment. Because of the stealing, destruction, threatening, health problems, lying, etc. I don't want him here at all. I keep telling my son to tell him to go to a soup kitchen. and volunteer to work there for free. They'd help him with counseling- and he'd maybe make better friends, be kept busy. He has a place to stay right now, and gets SSD. He can't earn any money, and he can't hold a job-but he needs to do something.
Yes, try to do one step at a time.
Dear Ruthie, So sorry to hear about your recent circumstances. You are a good Christian. You wrote, "I am a Christian too, even though some might doubt that, by allowing depression to get the better of you." I must tell you that depression is a chemical imbalance in your system that needs medication to right it. Would you blame a diabetic person for not being Christian enough because of their diabetes? So make sure you get medical help for your depression as well as your prayers. You are doing so well with so much on your plate. Anyone would be in mental distress with all that has happened to you. The good news is that you have a husband who now does have a job and you have a sweet young one that you are raising. Put your mental energies there for now. I know that it's tough not to be thinking of your other 2 sons, but sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before getting back together again. Things will work out.
You take of yourself #1 so that you will be available to take care of your loved ones. You will make it. I know you will. You managed to get sober which was a very BIG accomplishment. I will always pray for you and sending you lots of love. Sara
Just another friend here who also lives One Day at A Time and I'm offering my prayers and support.
I have a friend who always says that "God will never give you more than He knows you can handle" and I always say "I know, but I wish He won't trust me so much"
We came across that whole saying one time when our meeting got moved into a different room one time and it never fails to lighten my mood.
My friend and I are now almost 1000 miles apart physically, but only a thought away in our hearts.
Take care of yourself first dear so that you can take care of everything else that you need to.
In posting your comments today you have created a giant network of people praying for you and offering you support, what a wonderful thing for all of us.
I think your situation is way too common and believe me I understand. I could not afford to buy my first grandbaby a Christmas present this year/ or really hold her, still can't. Life can be tough, but one thing I have found out is that somehow we get by even when we're sure we won't. I've not been the best Christian,, have made my share of mistakes, until my health problems I almost never prayed, I DO NOW!! just saying u might want to try it, sure can't hurt, makes me have strength to deal with this and the rest of this crazy world. PS. Can't help with money but I'll be your friend.
I am so very sorry to hear about all the problems you have been dealing with. I was just thinking of you the other day & was going to send you an email.
But I did not get to it as my best friend that was like a sister to me took her life a couple of weeks ago. And I myself have been in a deep depression due to that.
She took her life due to medical & mainly mental issues. So I cannot stress enough that you need to find a way to keep seeing the dr. that is treating your depression... And find some possible way to get the medication for your mental issues... Maybe ask your dr. if there is a cheaper medication you can use or a medication they carry samples that they can give you until your insurance starts.
Always remember that you have ALOT to live for & just think of your little man & how much he needs his mom.
I am so very sorry about your son & all the hard work that you put in to try & put him on the right path. And he really seemed like he was s cannottarting to go down the right road. It is a shame that he threw that chance away & in the process broke your heart even more.
But you cannot blame yourself for the paths that both of your older sons have taken. You have given them so many chances & now you just need to let them bottom out & pray that they can pick up the pieces themselves & hope that they find the right path. I know how much work & how hard it was seeing your son walk while he was staying there & how hard it was to get all that set up & then to have that money just wasted... Well that is a real shame especially knowing how much you need that money.
But I will Definitely pray for you & hopefully things will turn around. Please know that I am here for you as always so when you get a chance send me an email.
But please take care of your mental issues as that Really scares me so badly...
I cannot imagine losing another dear friend due to depression.
You hang in there & remember that you have alot of people praying for you.
Take care my dear friend, Kathy
Hi Ruthie - I am so sorry you are going through such hard times! And these are tough, no doubt about it. I so want to make it all better for you - I hate for you to feel so bad, and depressed. I hope your little one is ok, and I will be praying for your family. Better times must be ahead, right? Hang in there - trust in God. Wherever He sends you to live, accept it as He wills. You never know the next twist in the road He has you on! All my love and prayers - EJ
My dear lil babyr! I'm so sorry that I didn't see your post when you have been feeling so low. I've been preoccupied with my own problems, but none as serious as yours. You've got to do it one day at a time my lil friend. You're made of very strong stuff and I know you'll put one foot in front of the other for your sweet little guy. You've got an OPPORTUNITY Ruthie to raise him right and raise him strong. I know you love him to pieces. Sometimes clinical depression tries to win out over how much we love our families, but I know you're a fighter. I believe day by day your situation will ease up. You gotta get your back taken care of my dear. Finally that is just around the corner, i know it.
Don't lose your faith! Sometimes it's not a day at a time-it's an hour at a time! You know I'm here for you and we can talk privately any time too. You're my lil Mighty Mouse and I'm praying for you sweet Ruthie!
Love from your friend,
The drug companies get a lot of bad press - mostly deserved. However, in one case - mine - they came through for me in a big way. The Here To Help Program got me one year of $1000/mo. medicine for free. It took me and my Dr. two days of gathering documentation and many faxes, but once in place it was very smooth. I believe that these programs are very specific as to what they will subsidize, but I have known people who got benefits for a wide variety of meds. It allowed me to focus on the important issues of my life and now I am stabilized and moving forward. My dear Sister has inexpensive clean, warm housing that she rents to people are going through rough times. Like Section 8, only done with compassion. If you are anywhere near Portland, Oregon, please PM me as soon as you can. My heart goes out to you. There, but for the grace of God, go I. If you're not in my area, surely there is someone out there like my Sister, yes?
Ruthie I am very sorry to hear of the compounding issues you're having at the moment. I understand as much as another person could. I could tell you my own story but it really doesn't matter, I wanted to just let you know that please don't think you're crazy or alone. I understand that right now you have multiple things going on and all of them are important. I agree that it's scary when you know you're going to run out of medication and money is super tight. I started cutting back on the ones I needed to make them last as long as possible too. Right now know that I too have said a prayer for you and your family.Is there anyway you have family or friends that you/your family could stay with temp so you can catch your breath? Sometimes just having a little break can help a lot. Even if you don't, I would recommend joining a support group (in person) just to give yourself a bit of an outlet.
You never know, additional help may come to you this way too! Even getting a real hug versus an electronic one can work wonders! Take a deep breath and know that you cannot solve every problem immediately. I agree one issue at a time, one day at a time. I just joined this group today so I wanted to extend some support to you too. Hugs, Paula
About your pain. I wish you would get medical help for your mental state and therapy. You can ask and get help. It's ok to feel sad but if it's overwhelming you need some dedication even though you sound as if you are around alcoholism. You could try AA meetings were you can get support. As of your son, he needs to make his decision to get better. About your friend who odeed. It's their choice to use drugs. So it's sad but you can't fix others. Your life is the one you need to work on so you can be there for little one. Prayers help and it's all about God but you need to do something about your life. Get your little but' to a support group in person and get help. There is help out there. Your life will get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel but you do need to take action. My best wishes for you!
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