i am not sure what i am doing iguess i jsut have noone to talk to atall i feel depressed and lonely i am mandated by family treatment court to anoutreach for a yr , family treatment took my kids which i have not been dealing with so wel lat all it is a very confusing situation i guess they took my kids away but my mother stepped in and took temp. custody i was doing good iwas clean for like 5 months and i dont know what happened i started up again and i cant stop i want to gt a doctor for suboxin but they are so hard to find i have a friends that gives me a half suboxing evreyday but i do not want that iwant either opana or oxycontin i hate it i really do people sit here and say "then stop" if it was that easy we would not have addicts in the world. i want to stop so bad it breaks my heart everytime i do it and when i am on it i say i am not goingto do this anymore and then the next day comes and i amgoing through those withdrawals and i have ot go out and get one. i am not supposed to be living with my mther becasue my kids are here but i have no where else to go and i cant be going through withdrawals in front of my mother she has no idea she thinks i am doing so well and she is not the person to go to and say " by the way i really messed up ma and i need help and support" she will tell me to get out i dont even know why i am writing this i dont even really have a question i think it is just because i have noone to talk to you know i am sorry guys for writing this boring letter to you all sorry.
No one ever said it was easy to quit. Right now you're making a choice to take oxy's over getting your life back. If you were serious about really changing your life, you'd stop making excuses and get on the suboxone. Your letter isn't boring, it's sad. The real kicker is that you don't WANT suboxone, you WANT Opana or oxy's. Obviously you're not ready for help. If you were serious about coming clean, you'd find the help now. It's out there but you have got to want it. I'm sorry if this is hard for you to hear. But you need to start making some serious choices in your life. So many people here are supportive and go out of their way to help people, people who are serious about quitting their addictions. When you're ready to make these tough choices, I'll be the first to help you in any way I can. That is a promise. I know this response will raise a few eyebrows, I seldom respond in this manner. But I truly hope you see what your addiction is doing to your life.
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