well started getting prescribed hydrocodone when i was 12 yrs old for back pain then as time went on those werent workin so kept getting more and more until i was getting 240 perk tens a month and wld run out buy whatever i could off the street until my life crashed 2 rock bottom i finally went and got help in dec. of '09 ive screwed up a few times since but im still in a program still taking suboxone have been clean almost yr now and im just always craving for opiates but obviously dnt go through with going 2 buy them off the street bc i dont wan go back 2 that lifestyle does it ever get better? It feels like the beginning of w/d everytime i think bout it! Im tryin so hard ive come all this way 2screw it up now
I don't know you. But i wen't through something a little simular. And everytime i think of it... i tell myself it's not worth it. don't you just wan't to feel normal. instead of feeling high. don't you just wan't life to go back to the way it was before drugs took over? not to mention that it's a waste of money. because the suboxone will block out any kind of opiote that you take trust me. i was in the hospital. and i took a suboxone the day before i ended up in there. and they shot me up with morphine thro iv. i didn't feel a thing. so when they say that it blocks it there not lying. it also depends on how much suboxone you take. ... not only that when they say in order to get better you have to really want to get better that is also true.
I'm glad to see you're working to overcome the drugs. Let me just pass on a little info, and see if any of it helps.
Suboxone contains a combination of buprenorphine and naloxone. Buprenorphine is an opiate, while Naloxone blocks the effects of other opiates. So taking a different narcotic, while you have subs in your system, won't get you high. In other words, it keeps you from sabotaging your progress by blocking any "high" from a different opiate.
Meanwhile, don't forget, while subs are helping you to get off the other drugs, it is still a narcotic. Thus, you remain under the influence, regardless. And, as I'm sure you already know, when we have narcotics in us, it wreaks havoc with our emotions and just about anything else. I would think that some of the psychological problems you're still having may be intensified by the subs.
The idea of suboxone is also to stop the cravings for other opiates. Your dose may need adjusting, if cravings are getting that bad.
Then - when suboxone is used correctly, a person shouldn't be on it for months or years on end. In fact, the shorter time you're on it, the easier it is to taper off it with minimal side effects. Here's a thread about subs that you may find very informative: https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-drugs/suboxone-subutex-therapy-50887.html
In the meantime, there's more you can do to help yourself to recover. Our drug addiction affects every single facet of our lives - physical, emotional, mental, social, financial, spiritual, and more. So stopping the pills themselves is only part of the solution. We need help to manage all the other pieces of this addiction. That's where a 12-step group like AA or NA can make a significant difference. That's the place to learn HOW to live without turning to a drug to cope. That's the place to learn new coping skills. I can not say enough about the benefits of the 12-step programs. They literally saved my life - and I had an awful time, early on, with relapsing. It was only when I really pushed myself into daily meetings (and working the 12 steps) that I was able to stay clean for any length of time.
YES, it does get better. What you're trading off is letting go of the "quick fix" of a pill - that makes you feel better for a very short time - and then leaves you much worse thereafter --- for a long-term solution. Recovery doesn't offer a "quick fix" like us addicts like - it takes time and effort - but the results are nothing short of miraculous.
Recovery is progressive - just as addiction is progressive.
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