I am a newer member and I have posted a Q that is very hard to talk about but i have been on my pain meds for 5 yrs now all prescribed by my doctor, have i taken my med as directed? no! well in the beginning i did but we know how that goes, 1 leads to 2 and 2 leads to 4 and then 4 leades to 8 ect, i beleve we all know where a i am going with this. I never thought i would be an addict, we sometimes think just because a doctor gives us meds that its fine and its legal and oh nooo i would never be dependent on these pain pills, no not me! but it is me and i was in a very long term relationship but i lost her due to my pain pills, well that was at least 50% of the reason and the other 50% was a culture diff. turns out she was a very cold person and could care less about the pain i was in and always thought i was lying and it was just in my head.. I don't know if this makes any sense to those who are reading this but i just wanted to ask! I am slowly getting off my pain meds and now that she is out of my life for over a 1 1/2 yrs i now realize that we were really never meant to be but i just thought it was sad that you could love someone so much and they leave ya because they thought you were full of shi* because you had so many pain isues.. Just wondering if anyone went threw this with your wife, girlfriend or husband ?? Or am i just feeling sorry for myself? I treated her with love, respect and allways very loyal... God I hope this makes any kind of sense! I wrote this an hr ago and have been wondering if i should hit the submitt button but what the hell, hear it goes.. Thank you for taking the time out to read this very long Question. God Bless!
Hi there Mik, Please never feel that asking a question here places you in risk of any kind of judgement we are the most nonjudgemental peeps out here, And I am sooooo glad you hit the SUBMIT button! Personally I did not lose my realtionship with my husband over my pain medication but I have been judged by family and friends over my issues. Not only judged by them but lost all of them for reasons beyond my medication. It is not good to take more than prescribed but I am also guilty of this, My breakthrough meds 1 every 6 hours as needed but because I have been on this for so long I can easily take 2 and not feel high from it so I believe it is so much more different than being an addict.
Our bodies as time moves forward and we are on this medication for a long period of time gets used to the miligrams so sometimes we need to help ourself not saying its a good thing but if I feel the pain who is anyone to say except my doctor which I have always been honest with and have told her I at times will take 2.
My best advice to you Mik is always remember that if your girl left you it wasen't because of your Pain... She obviously did not love you enough to stick with you through good and bad. I am sorry for your loss, I hope you can feel good enough about yourself to brush yourself off and move forward, she was not the one for you especially since she did not believe your pain. I am sure this caused much sadness in your life and to deal with a broken heart on top of it, I know this feeling and by God it only makes the pain worse. Seems depression and pain work hand in hand...
It is hard for many to understand pain if they themselves do not feel it, I have a hard time explaining it to my husband and we have had arguements because of it, I allow him to vent and have his feelings even at times be hurtful in his words to me... by the time he is done venting he realizes how exhausted I am not just from my pain but also from the stress and he tends to back off some, It's hard on him too and I do not dismiss this, but always remember Your pain can not own you; You have to own it! Good luck to you getting down on your medication I pray for success! I hope since you have been seperated from her you are able to find yourself and understand that you deserve better. Please feel free to ask anything you wish here we are a group of loving people who CARE!!!
God Bless You,
Well Nik, I didn't lose my bf because of my dependence on pain pills, but he had very little sympathy and constantly said super negative things about suboxone, therapy and over the counter meds I might take to treat any malady so, I know how lack of empathy, sympathy and caring feels. I too have fibro and as you know, it causes not only pain, but anxiety, depression, uti's, tummy trouble and many other things. If he thought I was taking anything, he just wouldn't shut up, so I know partly how you feel. My subs group counselor talked to him over and over again about how subs worked, but he never did understand and he raises holy he!! If I am doing support on this site, he can't grasp that concept either. He can fix almost any mechanical device, computer, take all kinds of stuff apart and put it back together, but can NOT understand trying to get help and support, especially now that I am off subs. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Patti
I went thru a similar situation, only I had decided to NOT have a relationship because I could see what my Mothers pain did to her marriage because her husband did not understand chrontic pain. I had been living in chrontic pain myself for many years with 2 failed back surgeries & lots of other problems, Then comes a man into my life quite by accident,(he's the brother of my daughter in laws Mom) & I fell head over heels in love with him after 7 years of lonely days & nights alone. The only reason I let him into my life is because we had such similar experiences with the same doctor messing up our backs, & pain forever! We just celebrated out 17th anniversary, & have been together for 21 years. He understands when I don't feel good & vice versa.
A perfect match! I don't think anyone that hasn't suffered chontic pain for a long period of time, can honestly understand how you feel.I honestly don't think you are feeling sorry for yourself. You are just trying to understand how someone you loved so much could just leave you hanging. It happens all the time. No way could she understand your pain, your reluctance to do certain things & so on. Now it's up to you if you want to be alone or try to find someone else that has more compassion. I wish you all the best, & good luck (and quit worring about something you had no control over)...
I'm glad you hit the sumit button also,you should not feel guilty about been in pain,i think anyone that does'nt go through it,has'nt a clue. As far as you taking more pain pills then prescribed,you know you should'nt but when in pain it is impossible not to.I suffer from endo pain everyday,and my partner can be supportive to a certain extent,but then i know there's days where he is frustrated and does'nt know how to be around me,i feel useless and guilty for the pain i suffer and because i feel i cant do as much as i would like to,but at the moment and until my doc can finally find treatment that will work for me,my life is at a standstill.I'm on meds and injections that sends my hormones gaga,but i have his support most of the time which i am lucky for that.
But as for you and your ex,i would'nt beat yourself up over it,you need to find someone that will love you for you and everything that comes with you-pain and all and maybe just maybe if you were getting the support you needed,you would'nt need to take more pain pills than recommended,you would have having her to talk to and try vent your feelings to her about how crappy you feel.I understand when in pain,talking is the last thing on your mind but just as a way of vearing you away from yet another pill.
Your breakup was not your fault,if you treated her well and with kindness and respect then in return she should've help[ed you along with your pain!!!
You will find someone that understands you and cares for what you're going through!! I'm heart sorry that you are feeling this way,but please try concentrate on getting your pain in order and your focus on cutting down the pills.
Here anytime you need to talk..
You mind yourself and never feel alone,this site is full of people that care and are very supportive!!
Your pain is NOT all in your head! GRRR, that makes me so angry when I hear that! If she didn't understand your pain nor your dependance upon meds then try to think of it as just a relationship that wasn't meant to be?
My hubby I'm quite sure was probably ready to call it quits, yet he stuck it out, and good thing too!! I was such a zombie on OxyContin that I truly was not myself!! I was someone I no longer recognised.
But this is about you!! Now that you are tapering, you will be feeling better as time goes on. Please oh please do this Irish lass a favour? Google Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, tis very important info my friend!!
When the time is right, The Universe, or God or whatever you happen to call it, will usher in someone that is RIGHT for you!! Not someone that is judgemental and not understanding!! So, worry not friend. There are many fishies in the sea, and many of them could be just the right fishie for you!!
You are doing a fantastic job!! Keep that chin up and this too shall pass!
Lara (sweet lemon)
Part of the reason I come to this site is to be able to talk to others who understand pain. My husband has no empathies or sympathies for people in pain. I'm not the only one that I've seen him act this way towards-his brother has chroninc pain too.He doesnt really believe that my pain is as bad as it is. He thinks I use my pain to be lazy. He states that he has pain too but he can just ignore it and keep doing what needs to be done. Well excuse me, but this is NOT the kind of pain that you can just ignore!! No one can feel your pain like you do. No one can say their pain is worse because there is no way to measure pain other than how it affects the person experiencing it and maybe some people cope better than others. I've given up trying to make him understand. I turn to others who know what having severe unrelenting pain is like every day of your life. Only someone who has lived thru that kind of pain can truly understand.
Some people just have no empathy at all-they cant see or understand anything beyond their own experience and that is just the way they are! Keep looking Mickey! You will find a sweet understanding partner one of these days! Until then we are all here to support you and each other! :)
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