I really 'stepped in it' with my question regarding handicapped stickers!
I apologize to everyone. I made a grave error and you may all consider me schooled for my mistake, it was uncaring, unkind, cruel and not like me.
It will NEVER happen again.
Shame on me,
Hi gang, this is not a question, this is an open apology?
- 16 Jan 2013 by MacIntosh12
- 15 Apr 2013
- depression, rheumatoid arthritis, opiate withdrawal, pain, fibromyalgia, generalized anxiety disorder, chronic pain, friendship, chronic myofascial pain, handicapped
I really 'stepped in it' with my question regarding handicapped stickers!
Added 16 Jan 2013:
Hi gang, I'm actually in tears, from the love (Yes, my Lawd, I feel the love!)
and acceptance you have all offered. I greatly appreciate any forgiveness and will pay it forward.
You ALL are so kind to forgive that major gaff, eejit-induced question of mine.
I DID learn from it, and will try to not put my foot in my mouth for an entire 24 hours, but that is ever difficult for me, for I do it on a daily basis!
Open mouth, insert foot..........size 8! That's one big foot to be putting in my gob!
Love to you all!
Lara the Learning, ever learning
My dear Lara,
I did not read this major faux pas you're referring to, but I know you to be the opposite-caring, kind and never cruel. You always reflect sincerely on your posts and your insight is part of what makes you special to all of us. You give soooo much of yourself to this group.
Whatever you said, you're forgiven.
Love from Frenchie
Sheesh Lara! That was a long time ago and who really cares? We're allowed to say what bothers us. What good would it do if we weren't able to to discuss our true thoughts and feelings? You were right then, and your right now. It doesn't matter whose misusing parking placards. Their being misused. End. Now, forgive yourself. Go forward. Your an amazing person, and you help all of our friends with your time and wisdom. We love you. Let me tell ya, lil lady, you have some conscience. It must have been difficult to carry that around all this time. Your a doll! We all love you, Anna
Your apology is accepted. And I misspoke as well. Certainly a number of us did. Whether through a typo or an incomplete sentence we are in the same boat.
I am glad you changed your view,and can say so. That is always the sign of gaining wisdom. You went up the ladder with this. Hope we all do. I thank you for bringing forth the topic and letting people give their opinion. Nothing makes more sense and exposes our thoughts than speaking directly. I appreciate your candor. Thanks, Karen
Id like to apologize as well. Being considered obese is a difficult stigma to overcome. It makes for a very sensitive situation. My own responses to your question brought me a lot of private flack. That hurt a lot but I will overcome it eventually. You had every right to bring up that discussion. It did have some valid points. Everyone is entitled to voice their opinions as they did. Again, Im sorry.
My dear friend Lara,
You do not need to apologize for speaking your true feelings and thoughts, nor does anyone for that matter. I read some of what you and others said and I agree that some folks misuse placards. It didn't offend me and I am handicapped and do use my placard.
You are an awesome lady that genuinely cares for others with lots of wisdom and knowledge and reaching out to others as you do is amazing...
love ya ... pamee
You're very sweet, caring, sincere and loving from my interactions with you as well as quirky and funny which makes you unique. We say things out if frustration at times. Remember my comment to "O" mom to be. I was wrong to judge and I too apologized. Ironically she never came back to the site (oops), that wasn't alluding to anything, merely stating a fact. Like I posted on your post you're referring to, people abuse the system, they always will whether it a handicap parking space all the way to being able to board a plane first if you have children which is totally discrimination for those of us who just have dogs (totally kidding about the latter) but bottom line, there are many people looking for that free lunch. And despite the saying there's no such thing as a free lunch, people tend to find them. I think members know you for who you are innately and love you for it. But apologizing is a kind thing to do and makes me hold you to a higher esteem :) you're a valued friend!!!
I read the question and the responses Lara. You're such a good soul and impassioned about those who suffer chronic/serious illness. That's just who you are. Love you for that! Hope you're not measuring your value to all of us by these exchanges, where there existed so much room for misinterpretation.
Please continue to be your caring, passionate self. To know you is to love you!
Wow guys! This is thee most mature, sincere and caring group i have ever seen. Rants, loving friends and forgiveness, this is why i appreciate this forum so much, even though i do not post everyday, i feel that i can trust you all for advice and a shoulder to dump on. Thank you for being human.
Oh Mac- you can't please all of the people all of the time. People were able to express their selves about how they feel. There aren't too many places that we can do it. Today at the radiation clinic-this discussion popped into my head, and I drove and found a far away parking spot, instead of taking the handicap space. When I hiked up to the clinic, a frail elderly woman was trying to lay out a ramp that extended past the yellow painted no parking zone and into the next handicap parking spot.
Lara, I never thought about it again. You well know what a treasure I think you are. You offer so much on this site with your wisdom, humor, wit and caring towards everyone. No one judges you for your handicap parking posting. It allowed others to state their opinions and to bounce around ideas. It reminds me of another posting of yours which led to some controversy. Then you said at the time that you shouldn't have posted it. But I pointed out that everyone had been respectful in the discussion and that it was a good discussion, which it was. Thank you for everything that you have brought to this site. You are loved on this site. Keep up everything. Sara
Sorry I never read your comment but whatever it said I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt anyone and you are a bigger person for coming on in apologizing and we all have those days when we say the wrong thing .
Frustration depression and loading a note the wrong things is part of the ilness .
Wanted just to express that nobody's perfect and everyone should be entitled to their feelings .
But as human beings we must be careful how we say them.
I apologize for just answering this, honey, but as you are very aware of, everybody decided to take turns getting the Flu in my home, and well, I know you understand... Period.
I know this because I've been getting to know you very well indeed over the past few weeks, and above anything else, you have a love and a passion for this site, and the people you get to know!!! I believe with every fiber in my being that you didnt mean to hurt anyone in any way. I think she, like myself, and lots of other people too, are human, and maybe get something in their head, and it bothers them, ..or their just curious about it, and on occasion, ask a question without really thinking it through, or how it would effect someone else. I believe when this has ever happened, they don't do it intentionally. Lara, I commend you, and think it it took a lot of guts, humility, and love for the people on this site, to do and say what you have. It takes strong person to say... I'm sorry, and even a stronger person to say... I'm wrong. I'm so very proud of you, and its because of things like this that make you such a great friend to me. Many blessings to you, Daisy. Love, Ruthie
Hello Everyone - I am relatively new to this forum and I have a handicapped plaquard and I wanted to add my 2 cents to the list of opinions - In NJ it is required that you have not only your plaquard and or your handicapped license plate but the disable person must also be in possession of a disabled card that looks like a drivers license - the holder of that card must be either the driver or a passenger in any vehicle parking in a handicapped spot and I also wanted to say that many obese people have mental problems that contribute and sometimes cause thier overeating - allow me to share something painful with you all - I was raped by a family member when I was just 21 years old - after celebrating my 21st birthday - my mind told me that I was raped because I was dressed provacatively - so since then anytime I try to lose weight I self sabatage my diet because I am convinced on some level that I will be attacked again and believe me I have spent thousands of dollars on therapy both ...
private and group and I even sought the help of a hypnotist and I mention this because I also suffer from chronic pain, 11 ruptured discs, degenerative disc disease, arthritis, asthma, nerve damage in all 4 extremities, spinal stenosis, hydradenitis supportiva, lymphadema in both legs, bad left knee with a knee cap that pops out of place causing me to fall, low functioning immune system, chronic kidney stones, IBS, Barrettes Esphagus, GERD, Acid Reflux, high blood pressure, border line diabetic, hypertension, post traumatic stress disorder, migraines, panic attacks, allergies, curve of my neck is backwards, pionadal cysts, curvature of the lower spine, due to my mother taking DES during her pregnancy while carrying me, all of my internal organs stopped growing when I entered puberty - so I am a miracle to even be alive as I was told by several physicians when I was in my early 20's that I would not live to see 40 and I thankfully, I am turning 58 in July - My point is if you saw me get out of my 12 year old Ford F 150 truck I would be one of the over weight normals that many of you would grumble about - You cannot really see my disabilities however I cannot walk more than a few feet without becoming winded and the pain in my knees, hips and low back is excruciating.
I volunteer at an attorneys office during the week helping distressed home owners fight foreclosure and apply for loan modifications and on the weekends I spend a minimum of 20 hours in bed trying to regain my strength from the effort expened from my volunteer work of the prior week - I often times do use the handicapped parking spots and I cry each time someone yells at me because I do not look ill - I am thankful that I do not look ill however I am truly ill in many ways. I invite those people to call the authorites - I am in favor of having the authorities check the credentials of anyone parking in a handicapped space and I would welcome all the states creating a handicapped parking meter that forced you to scan your disabled card in addition to your plaquard and or licens plate number before allowing you to park in that space -
I guess I want to let everyone know that there are many very ill and or overweight people that do not appear to be sick but that are really ill and we need to ask for stricter parking enforcement of the handicapped parking spaces and I apologize for the length of this post but weight has been a very sensitive issue for me ever since the rape - I cannot get the weight off of me because every time I lose 5 pounds I relive that rape in my mind and the only thing that calms my mind is eating a non-diet food or beverage. I have struggled with this since 1976 and I know I will be fighting this demon for the rest of my life. I also relive that rape the instant someone yells at me for parking in that handicapped parking space. I can't describe to you how painful the memories are for me when someone yells at me for parking in a handicapped parking spot. I am sensitive about my weight and I just want to share with you all some the behind the scenes pain of an overweight invisibly handicapped person. I don't mean to offend or to judge anyone - I just want to share my experience with everyone. Thank you for reading my increadibly long post.
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