hubby, Gary. I have been telling everyone that our insurance FINALLY approved him to go to Mayo Clinic at the urging of the University of Iowa, to see a specialist there that would be the ONLY doc in the country that would attempt to fix his basketball size hernia that his stomach is in, plus part of his small intestine. We have been overly excited as it was scheduled for May 1st for the consultation. Last evening Dr. Sarra called us, & has reviewed the latest CT scans & all his 28 abdominal surgeries that required mesh be put in. Unfortunately after an hour of talking with him, he doesn't feel Gary has enough muscle left any where to fix it. Now he the best in the country, & Gary as I said was to the University of Iowa, & Rush In Chicago. Neither would even touch him. He has so many many probems, & the last doc because our insurance changed to an HMO really messed him up bad. To take out his gall bladder, he accidently cut into the existing mesh, Gary got staph, strep ,& pseudomonus in the wound, & it took 3 years & 8 more surgeries of debriding to get the wound to heal. The new doctor was told of the mesh & that they had left a space to remove the gallbaldder had it ever come up, but didn't bother to check his records from the previous surgeon. He's a mess, & now very depressed again. I even asked what about his quality of life, & Dr. Sarra said he was just so sorry, but there is no muscle & even if they took it from the back or leg , when they do this it loses it's strength, & wouldn't work. Plus his rate of infection from all the previous surgeries figures in too. So don't know what we are going to do. He has no life because of the pain. It broke my heart to see the tears running down his cheeks when we were talking to the doc. I am going to make sure his physc knows about this for sure, but would you please keep him in your thoughts & prayers if you so believe. I know the stregth of this group first hand & have seen the miracles of our group of people. If you can find it in your heart to just include him every once in a while I would truly appreciate it. Thanks, my friends... Mary
Hi Mary, I'm so sorry to hear that your husband is going through this. I think men have a lower tolerance to pain than women do. Get him outside in the sunshine and make sure he gets plenty of sleep. He will be in my prayers.
Have you gotten a second opinion? Maybe another doctor could do the surgery.
Oh Mary I am so sorry about Gary! I really hate Doctors sometimes. They messed my neck surgeries up 2 times. I will pray for him & hope he gets to feeling better. It's so freakin hard when you live everyday in pain. I hope there is a Good Doctor to help him. Your Friend, Smoovechic
Hi Mary, it is breaking my heart reading what you wrote I know how much you both were wanting this mayo appointment, but try not to loose complete hope. You have to try and stay positive for Gary's sake because if he sees you give up completely like the doctors seem too, but I am sure it was tough for Dr Sarra to say no to you also, but in some small way it saved all of you going down there for nothing also. But I know all of us here will have Gary and you in our prayers and hope that one way or another Gary will get the help he so really needs and deserves and help for yourself to find the strength to cope with what your going through, I only wish I could be there for you in person to give you a big hug of support. You have to have faith Mary that something or someone will help, with poor Gary's suffering. Best wishes and love to you both and write to vent anytime you need to Mary, I know no one can wave a magic wand like we all would if we could.
But we will all be here for you as much as we can, to help you stay strong as much as possible. love you girlfriend, Liz.
Oh my gosh sweetheart! My prayers are with you. I truly cried reading this, its heartbreaking to hear these doctors say they cannot do anymore. Please don't give up and continue researching for clues maybe the doctor could use. I'm so sad. I wish the best for your family and hope they can come to some sort of fix for him.
I started crying when I read this (and still am). I hate that you are going through this, and I hate that that precious man is too. I just couldn't believe it when I read this. But please know that I am a big believer in prayer and I will pray that something works out. I will pray for Gary and his physical well being and his depression too. I will aslo pray for you to have the strength to deal with all of this. You are a precious woman. And very dear to my heart. Never stop believing and never give up my friend. You never know when a miracle is right around the corner. Love, your friend always, Ruthie
My dear friend, you can always count on me to keep you and G in my thoughts and prayers, I know it's been difficult for him especially after the latest situation. He must feel a bit hopeless at the moment, but I am just praying that a doctor will be found that can help your husband.
Talking to his P doc is a great idea, maybe that doc can lift his mood at this time.
I know how hard you've been working lately Mar, you need to take some time for just YOU once a day. Even if it's just walking the dog, or watching the eejit box. You deserve that, and G will benefit as well, as you will feel more rested and ready to take on the world as you do every day, Lady. You are an inspiration.
I'm so sorry Mary! That must have been quite a blow to hear that after being so hopeful!! That is just so heartbreaking but it is better that they dont try to go in and do something that may cause more damage or cause you to lose him on the table. It must truly be a grave situation in there if this Dr cant do anything. As far as the constipation issues with his pain meds, has he ever tried any pain meds with naloxone? I have been reading that small doses of naloxone with pain meds can really help opioid related constipation. If I can find the articles I was reading, I'll either copy and send or send you a link to read and maybe you can run it off and show his Dr. There has to be some kind of compromise between some pain meds and controlling the constipation. I know my dad is undertreated for his pain because he cant stand the constipation that pain meds bring.
Men can be so hard headed when they get something in their minds too. They are not as patient to find a compromise like women will. They dont understand that things cant be fixed immediately! lol Another thing you could look into, if you can afford it, is a naturopathic Dr. Sometimes, when all else fails with Western Medicine, I've seen them work miracles. They wont be able to do the surgery, of course, but they may be able to work out supplements to get his diet and his eating better and help his strength. Perhaps if there is a possibility to build more muscle?? They can also work to build his immune system. At least to help him feel better overall. The one I worked for knew more about blood chemistry than any other Dr I've ever seen including oncologists and hemotologists! I got to see him work some miracles and when I first went into that office I was pretty skeptical but he really did help some people who were told by Western Medicine that there was nothing more to be done. Perhaps that may at least improve his quality of life some. It can be very expensive because insurance doesnt usually pick up much of it. Sometimes some of the bloodwork panels can be reimbursed but most of it comes under "experimental" because naturopaths are not widely accepted yet in this country. I think they will be some day, like chiropractors didnt used to be covered, and now many insurances are covering them but right now it is a cash pay out of pocket expense so many people cant afford them. Many will work out financing so it might be an option to look into. You have my thoughts and prayers! I really hope that some kind of help will come forward. We just have to put our faith in a higher power and know that if it is meant to be for the better then it WILL happen, if not, it just wasnt meant to be or could cause more harm. Hang in there Mary and be strong!
Mary, this is sad news. At least you know what you have to deal with for his condition now. Am familiar with the no hope diagnosis. It breaks us down for a bit. Then there is laundry to do, shopping. Life continues as well as it can. You are strong enough to do this. He is coping in his own manner.
You just might look into hospice to help out. They have so much to offer and help when a person gets exhausted. And they are a break for the care taker and the patient. Around here we have a beautiful place where the patient can stay a few days and sometimes that's really helpful. It relieves guilt. His for making you work harder while you have your own health issues and for him so he doesn't have to underplay his needs and feelings. Men are so good at that part. Support staff can help with bathing, whatever. They address spiritual as well as practical needs.
Once you catch your breath again, I know you will be investigating things further. I doubt if anything can truly stop you, from what I have seen. I so wish that he gets the best treatments and that you do as well. My thoughts are with you both. With love and hope, Karen
Search for questions
Still looking for answers? Try searching for what you seek or ask your own question.
Posted 10 Apr 2011 • 3 answers
Posted 18 Jun 2011 • 1 answer
Posted 19 Apr 2012 • 12 answers
Posted 31 May 2015 • 4 answers
Posted 30 May 2017 • 3 answers