I have been having such a hard time trying to find a medication for my depression and anxiety... I always end up having horrible reactions to basically everything I have tried. Lexapro is the most tolerable out of everything that I have tried but it is giving me this weird numb sensation in my right eye that is so unbearable. I have tried effexor, zoloft, lamictal, buspar, serzone, wellbutrin, cytomel, celexa, and basically every natural herb and supplement for this condition. I had unbearable reactions to all of them. I tried gabapentin once and although it did help alot with depression and anxiety, I felt so out of it and loopy, along with having weird vision problems. Benzos do work for me anxiety, and adderall/vyvanse for my add/motivation but I am so terrified of the long term consequences of being on all these meds. Ideally I would like to find a natural method but everything I have tried never seems to do much (meditation, binaural beats, cranial electrotherapy, exercise, yoga, positive thinking, therapy, eating healthy, keeping busy, spending time outside, being social, fish oil, magnesium, multivitamin, etc.). My depression is so unbearable and out of control that I don't think I would be able to do without meds for now. I started slowly tapering onto prozac while tapering off lexapro and the eye problem went away but I feel so completely agitated and I want to crawl out of my skin. I don't know if this is worth it. Any suggestions? should I wait it out? Should i try alpha stim? I would love to try something like rTMS, but unfortunately it is way too expensive. I am so willing to try anything that can bring me out of this deep hole. I am in college and this should be such a happy time for me but I can't seem to find a way out of this misery in my head. All I want is to feel the way I used to as a child. So happy and carefree. I could feel sad too sometimes, but it was just the normal range of healthy emotions. Now I feel mostly numb or depressed and I feel as if all my options have been exhausted. I am losing hope and I really need some advice!