How do you cope with the feelings of being totally useless? I spend most of my days sitting on a couch watching tv, reading or browsing the internet because I am always so tired from getting so little sleep due to the pain. I do get some exercise, I have a little dog which I take around the block 3x a day, so I am walking for about 1/2 an hour in total or more every day. I look at the housework needing to be done and have no energy to do it, and then end up feeling guilty because it's not done when my husband gets home. He says he loves me anyway, but still... We are eating a lot more prepackaged food these days which is not nutritionally the best, but I go to the kitchen, look at the food in the fridge, and just want to lie down again. I've had fibro for 16 years and have only been this bad for the past year.
oh, sweetie I can so relate to you!! I really am sorry for how you feel. Please, please understand that you are NOT useless. I, too, feel guilty when I can't get up the energy to do something around the house, or haven't cooked in a while. What are you currently on for your fibro?
I am taking Cymbalta 30mg in the morning and Amitriptyline 50mg at night. This helps me to sleep a GOOD sleep and therefore the fatigue is not so bad. Just in the past few days I have been suffering with pain in the night, but I do manage to get back to sleep. I am also on suboxone (originally to get off of all the pain meds I have had to take over the years) and have found that it also helps my fibro where the vicodin never could.
Are you currently on any sort of anti-depressant? Not suggesting you need it, was just curious. Also, with the weather getting a tad (not much... I live in Texas) cooler maybe being outside a bit more would help? Trust me, I have been thru a clinical depression and I know you can't just 'put on a happy face' and make it all go away. I am just trying to think of some things that may help. Perhaps you can discuss these concerns with your doctor. Chronic pain is very much a depressing thing in and of itself! Just know you are NOT alone!
I hope this helps!
Ya know what gail, I've been hearing everyone including myself say how bad the fibropain has been all this year so far. I wonder if the el nino thing has anything to do with it. If it does we are in trouble because I hear it's staying. I can sure comiserize with you, but don't have an answer. My freezer is completely full of micro meals! Buy the Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers, (they are really healthy) throw a salad together or buy the prepackaged like I do, & ya got a meal. My hubby has fibro too so he completely understands. I hope you (& the rest of us) get to feeling better soon. Take care...
You guys are blessed with husbands who understand. Mine doesnt get it at all so along with my own guilt I get to hear from him how lazy I am (lets not mention that I'm the breadwinner even though I'm lucky enough to work from home!!) I did spend two years out of work before I was lucky enough to find this job so I know how it feels to feel useless. I do at least work and make an income now but I still have a hard time finding energy to get the housework done and get meals fixed. My husband has always been good to help with laundry so at least it is something although I usually fold them all and give them to whomever they belong to to put away. My big thing is WHY does the housework have to be MY job??? I work full time-albeit from home but I still have a quota of work to do each day-I have two healthy teenaged boys and my husband. They can all crab about what isnt done.
I say if it looks like it needs cleaning and you see it then clean it!! I do cook a good dinner most days-some are prepackaged but most days I do a good homecooked meal-like Mary says-there is nothing wrong with a nutritious precooked meal and a salad! Some days we order out. I cannot mop floors and deep scrub bathrooms anymore without being laid up for days suffering so I refuse to do that. I see no reason why two teenagers cant handle that-I am working on it even though it is like pulling teeth! You can only do what you can do and you have to let the rest go! If you can get up and go somedays, have you thought about volunteering your time? Sometimes just HAVING to get up and go somewhere is good for you-it makes you get up and get yourself out of a rut. Doing for others is very good for your own soul. Sometimes you find out that you have it better than you think. If you can volunteer 1-2 days a week you are not too burdened like you would be with a job outside the home, but it would allow you to get out some. Volunteer somewhere that you dont have to do heavy physical work. Sometimes just getting up and going makes you feel better and doing housework, to me, is not very motivating, so it is nicer to do something else. Try to get others in the family to pitch in-they all live in the house too and why should it be one persons job? You can only do what you can do.
Hi Jillynnie, I take 60 mg of Cymbalta at night (it makes me too tired during the day), and I also take celebrex in the morning, along with a variety of unrelated drugs. I also have hypothyroidism, which really just exacerbates everything. My GP won't give me anything for pain, he tells me to use tylenol so I am now using marijuana to help although I try to avoid it during the day because of the intoxication effects. I've been through two clinical depressions already in my life, and I was certainly there earlier this year also. Days like this come and go and are so very related to my sleep (or lack thereof).
I miss having my kids at home. They did so much to help! lol Nobody lives closer than a six hour drive, so I rarely see any of them anymore, but I do talk with two of my girls regularly and they do a lot to keep my spirits up too.
Dzoobaby, I actually have a husband who complains that I don't get things done, even though he says he loves me. He does help - it was very grudgingly at first, but he does eventually come around. I recently convinced him to get someone in once a month to do the heavy cleaning which is a big relief for me. Still, when I look at the floors needing vacuumed, etc. it can be depressing. I don't work outside the house, which can occasionally add to the guilt because I do most of the spending (lol), but I do as much as I can as a volunteer to get myself out and involved. It's easy to overdo though and I have had to learn to say no at times.
I am just having a bad day really, and it is really nice to have people who will commiserate with me instead of just going "again?" Thanks for all the input everyone. It's important to not feel alone.
I know exactly how you feel !! I am very lucky as I've an understanding husband, so he is cool about it all.
I figure if his child is alive and thriving and I've prepared a decent dinner, then I've done my job!!
If men had to go through child-birth or fibro you can bet that the medical field would be all over it like white on rice!! Look at Viagra, there are no pills for women, are there? That just makes me laugh!!
There are times when I feel like t*ts on a bull, completely useless, but I try to rationalize it DAILY! It works for me!!
Try not to beat yourself up over this, things are always like a pendulum, they are bad, then they get better, back and forth. Etc.
My hubby has been having radiation treatments which make him fatigued and nauseated, so I try to have dinner waiting for him when he gets home, yet if I don't have it ready, then, welll... I JUST DON'T!! He'll have to eat some pistachio nuts until tis ready, ya know?
Forget the vacuuming! I can't do it, it hurts like hell to do it. I get my 16 year old to do it.
Are you able to hire a maid? If so, do it, cut back on other things so you can afford it! If possible, of course.
Having a disability that no one can "see" can be a drag! "You look fine"!! Ever hear that one? That makes me madder than a little wet hen!!
OK, I've ranted enough, and you are sooooo not alone Gail, so many of us have issues that make us feel useless at times!!
I know how you feel! I am 37 and up to this year had all the energy in the world! I do the same when you say “I look at the housework needing to be done and have no energy to do it, and then end up feeling guilty because it's not done when my husband gets home. He says he loves me anyway," at least your hubby understands, if not at least he knows stress will flare it and make you worse and doesn't want to do that. I’ve been diagnosed for almost 2 years, known I’ve had longer, but has gotten worse this year.
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