my b-friend is now on 16ml n fingers crossd its helpin but im findin it realy hard this time ive now even relapsed n im an alcoholic ive not had a drink 4 nearly 4 1/2 yrs, until this time round. im findin everyfin realy realy hard, on the 6th of this month i tryd 2 kill myself im still ere n woz out on the 9th. he stil woz usin (this is b4 he upd his scriped to 16ml) then bout a wk ago i relapsed again this time with 2bottles of wine n bout 30 to 40 amitripalene (soz cant spel it) i actually died n brought bk also woz on a life surrport machine i only got out of hospital yesday. ive had fuck all frm him we didnt even realy bother talkin 2 each other n all i wantd woz a realy big kiss n cuddle, i no hes on other tabs (olanzapine) they r 4 his mental health probs n i no his sex drive as gone at the mo, but wot is wromg 4 just kisses n cuddles specaily after cummin out of hospital. i just dont no wot 2 do ive even gone n bought another bottle of wine not told any1 also not even opend it yet.

kirsty xx