... serious coping skills. Thanks for your time
I have had so many friends and family members die I became numb to it. Honestly the only way I was strong was to remember the good times, and realize death is a part of life not its culmination. It's hard if it becomes too hard to deal with seek out support with a therapist. Everyone grieves differently so be positive that's the only way I can explain how I coped with the losses I faced. I still have a hard time now and then but I remain positive.
Grief is different for each person. But, because you know your loved one will not survive, you have started grieving pre-mortem. I went through that with my father. It helps to spend as much time as possible with your loved one. Many times they have things to say to you that will give them closure and peace. Of course, you surely have things to say to your loved one, as well. Those conversations are cathartic and release burdens from your shoulders that you didn't realize you were carrying. Just realize that nobody expects you to be a "rock" through this. You are human and you deserve to grieve. Your loved one will understand your sadness. Your whole family, if each gives a bit of inner strength, will collectively guide each other through this difficult time. So, don't feel that you must bear the entire burden to be "the strong one". Lean on each other. My sympathy and prayers are being lifted up for your loved one and your entire family. May God grant you peace and comfort in your time of saddness.
For me it meant caring for him so that I felt he had the best care there was, and following his wishes regarding treatment. Then except for a few min when he first died I didn't cry in front of others, I kept going, making one plan after the next for his after care. In private I fell apart. I posted a eulogy to him online since he had friends and family all over the country. It also helped to know that he was going to God and not suffering anymore. I know I'll see him again. My dog's ears dried allot of tears.
You received some great answers, I can't add much to what my friends have said. I do think you need to grieve, or you'll meltdown as kaismama did when she tried to be so strong for everyone else. Tears are a healing thing, there is a chemical that is released through tears, which makes us feel better. You don't have to be the rock of Gibraltar at all times, you need to grieve right along with your family.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this, it's such a difficult time.
Best to you, BYR, hope you will be fine in a short amount of time.
I am sorry you are going through this. It is so hard to lose a loved one no matter what the circumstances. I have lost many friends and family. The hardest of them being from suicide. Say goodbye and make peace if you have the opportunity. Pray that they can make their peace with God. Help family in any big or little way you can. The surviving spouse is the one who needs the most help. Everyone will support them in the days and weeks to come. Be the one who helps in the months and years to come. I usually don't cry or grieve right away. It comes many weeks later when I pick up the phone to call someone and realize they aren't here anymore. Take some time to yourself to pray and grieve alone too. You have to take care of yourself in order to be able to take care of others. May God be with you and your family.
It isnt always necessary to "stay strong for everyone else". You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself there. You deserve to grieve too. As others posted grief is a very individual thing but very necessary. Talk with others, dont be afraid to cry if you feel like crying, talk now with you loved one if you are able to. Sometimes it is a gift to know that death is imminent because you have the chance to say goodbye where with a sudden death, you do not. Talk together, laugh and cry about the "old times" and shared memories, hug, tell them that you love them, when the person passes, hug you other loved ones feeling the same pain. Grief can bring people together or it can push them apart depending on how it is handled. Being together but understanding that each person grieves in their own way is important. There are stages of grief and most people have to go through each stage. You can google them.
I have several poems about death that I like to give to people when they lose a loved one and if you like, send me a PM and I will give you a copy of the ones I have. many of them are truly helpful for coming to terms with grief. You have my condolences and my support and if you want to talk, I am here most every day and would be glad to provide a shoulder.
BeYondRepair aka you are really in the middle of repair,This is a really tough on first i want to say how sorry I am that you are having to deal with this all I can say it use your tool's for anxiety and other misc.conditions to help you cope and it is not a terrible thing to loose it amongst your family or other people that are there to grief the loss of a person this is normal But what i also do when is try to stay positive and think of all the good memories even if iits not just this person,Laughing is a good emotion,Push the personal positive thoughs and do your best You don't have to answer to anyone it is so much better to let you emotions to flow than to try an be strong and never deal with them everyone around you well be fighting the emotions too so if you show yours its no big deal or if you have to just say excuse me for a moment i have to check on something and step away from the pressure for a few Then when your ready step back in..Remember you have a tough ...
job here dear but you can only do your best which is all that you need to do my DEAR FRIEND nobody can just turn off you emotions with the snap of a finger or none of us would have the problems we have..You well do just fine keep pushing and stay positive thinking of all the good thing you and all the others have to be thankful for..Chuck Wise Sr. retired phcy.technician Cpht..stand proud and do the best you can nobody is going to judge you and anyone that would is not someone you want around you..Chudk W.
i lost my dad 3 months ago, it was a very hard time for us all. i had to make sure to take care of my mum as well as my younger brother. during these times it'll be hard however you learn to be strong, it comes naturally when you know others depend on you. don't worry we all will have off days when we remember memories and that's natural, you have to let your body mourn and that's a strength in its self! Just keep positive, surround your self with loved ones and you'll be well! Take care :) x
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