Some days I feel so alone and that I'm losing my mind. I get up in the morning and just think about how many hours till bed time. I'm disabled so I don't work and I have been waiting to go to my hearing for my disability for two years. I separated from my spouse 6 months ago and I'm lonely depressed and I cry a lot. Started zoloft a week ago tonight I double my dose and I'm nervous about that. I'm just sick of being scared and lonely and not being able to do anything. I have a court date coming up in January and I'm afraid I will have a panic attack driving there or while I'm there. I have no one to go with me so I'm scared don't know what to do.
I am so sorry you don't have anyone to go with you. I would go with you if I could. My hearing should be coming up in the next few months too and I am nervous too and second guessing myself.
Just try the increase in dosage and see how it works for you. It's not something you have to commit to if it does no help. I will be praying for you to have the strength to get through this hearing and I hope you get it. And you can always find support here if you need someone to talk to.
Your not alone!! Ask your doctor about Propranolol 20mg it's a betta blocker and controls the physical signs of panic attacks such as your hand shaking and sweating. It will also lower your blood pressure. There is also a more natural way Licorice 450mg. It's natural to be nervous don't be scared it's apart of human nature!
Are you prescribed a benzo, like Xanax or Ativan? If not, ask for one right away, call your doctors office on Monday to ask, all they can do is say no, they won't berate you or anything like that. If they say no, try Valerian Root. Some people believe Valium (another benzo) is made from Valerian root! Dr. Oz recommended V root on his show a few weeks ago. It comes in capsule form, OTC, you can find it in most any pharmacy or supermarket. It has worked for me. It may just be a Godsend for you, too.
You are not alone, you just feel that way right now. Are you able to walk? If so, get out and meet a neighbor, at least it would be someone to have coffee with. There are too many lonely people in this world and I hope you meet someone who feels like you, you may just become the best of friends!
I'll keep you in my prayers AJ,
Jan is a while away. Here you are worrying about it. We've got to get you worrying about one day at a time. There is enough for 24 hrs worth of worries to deal with, you don't have to borrow it from the future. Do not give up on the zoloft, it hasn't been long enough to help you.
I feel for you on so many levels, right now feels like a big old mess, doesn't it. I remember separating from my husband during that waiting period before going to court for ssdi. My thoughts there are for you to insure your lawyer presses the med issue with the vocational specialist, if your highly medicated, do they expect you even to make change in a parking lot booth(which always seems to be the go to, well you could do something, kinda job!) If you worry about the panic attack while at court, maybe youtube some examples, it is nothing like sitting in a deffendants chair and even though its business, they want you comfortable to get the whole picture and if you do have one, try to calm yourself, take your benzos with you and even though it seems wrong, I heard of some lawyers telling their client to have one so the judge can see its real.
Just be yourself, the time I broke down was when I had to elaborate why I could no lomger physically work with children anymore, that jusge wants to see tue real you! Next, I remember how diligent I was with my research, have all your medical records with the courts becore you get there, these last few months were most tramtic for me. Not sure how you personally feel outside of anxious but this courtdate is your validation in so many ways. When it was over for me, I could care less what people thought about my diagnosises because some people need to see it in black and white for it to be truly real(my husband finally offered his true support at that point. He is the epitomy of growing up in a nuclear family so that validation was all i worried about.Even if you don't get it, don't stop, appeal immediately because you journey doesn't have to end there!(for those of us then have been in your shoes, we know how many denials you have to trudge through before you see some good out of it!
Your benzos are high enough to make that arguement for lack of productivity and a clear head!
The Zoloft, I was leary at first as well after taking a ton of antideppressants that didn't work and it really took some time to see real results. I'm at what my doc calls the end of the tueaputic level, I take 200mg, so I'm guessing your at maybe 50 mg now? Pleaze give it that one momth window, it took a year for me to see the difference it made in my tolerance/temperment and the couple of days Ive missed my dose, I could see, my family could see me sinking into that black hole of depression and anxiety. Give it a chance, I'm sure glad I did, my quality of life would be much less without it. Were all different and the halflife on drugs is so jumbled its hard to say when each individual has found what work(rather what works best!) They say a month but I was ready to increase it at 2 wks which some docs say you can tell if its working by then.
Divorce, is a dirty word for some and when you have am aniety disorder you have to go through the same roller coaster of hurt feeling, 6 mths is not that long ago. Grieve as you see fit but keep it in the back of your mind, when time has healed that wound, you will be all the better for it!
When it comes to your emotional well-being and quality of life, once you find a good medical fit your the one who decides how to break the chains of discontent! I appreciate taking one day at a time but when your havimg anxiety, their just words. I suggest a journal, if your not ready for social outings and support groups maybe you yourself can find what is going to work for you. Nobody knows your heart and mind like you do!
I live in rainy w wa so I get the staying indoors thing, cold hurts my physical ailments but also emotional ones as well. I'm no doc, just a friend so take what you like and leave the rest. Ive been known to hit a tanning bed on top of taking vit d3, calcium, in nasty old cod liver oil, magnesium and zinc, I'd like to think they help my mood and immune system. Maybe an elimination diet, it is suprising what we feed or body and they dom't want it so retaliate against us.
I'm totally new here and you got my heartstrings with your story, I want the best for you and you do too, so keep fighting the good fight because your worth it!
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