I won't go anywhere with anyone. I'm totally shutting people out of my life. Everyone has gotten tired of trying to get me to go out but now they expect nothing from me. I'm on vacation at my sons, which is across the US. My ex lives a few miles from my son. At first I could handle being around him for awhile. Now, it's a waste of time. He's arrogant and depressed and boring, I've disappointed everyone else in this State. Agoraphobia sucks!
I need help. Not from experience in medication?
Added 24 Jul 2012:
It's strange that I would feel this way, but I do. I'm still deeply withdrawn. Now that I've told my daughter not to ask me to any functions, when my kids and their dad go places, I feel lonely. You'd think that as an agoraphobic, I'd be relieved of the obligation to go anywhere. I am. I guess I feel left out. That's not at all like me. Everyone is still angry with me. My daughter is staying with the kids dad and they live 3 mls from where I'm staying with my son and I've only seen her twice since we've been here. I'm sad. That's it, my friends. Thank all of you who are helping me through this difficult time. When I get home, I'm going to find a counselor. It's been 1 1/2 years since my psych left his practice, and this is the first time I've needed anyone to discuss any issues with. So guess what? Your it! L, Anna
Hello pickles503. Good to see you post. Its been awhile! At least your agoraphobia doesn't deter you from coming on the site. And thats a blessing. I have a article hidden in my stack of papers and once found will post it. I found it some years ago and aside from interesting, could be helpfull. Bye bye now, pledge
Hi Anna. Hey, at least you made it across the country! I think that is a great start. Forget the ex. Bad memories there? That is why he is an ex! He isn't the one important in your life, your son is, & I doubt he is disappointed in you. You only have to please yourself, so let that be your goal. Don't worry about what others think. You do the best you can & let it go at that.Have fun, & enjpy yourself. We are here if you need us. Good luck to you... Mary
Mary is right... you have to focus on you and to heck with everything else! I would call it a milestone that you made it out of your house and across the country! My best friend, who I rent from, has such bad anxiety that he very seldom leaves his house-often times he doesn't even leave his bedroom. His wife and 3 sons do everything they can to get him out of the house and when he does go, it is truly a great day for all.
He doesn't always succeed, but he tries to do something (anything) at least once everyday and on the days he doesn't; he realizes it is the illness. As he expresses to his kids, he doesn't want to be like this, but he is... for now. He works on it and, as he will tell you, mental illness (like any other disease) makes your life a work in progress. As long as you don't give up, you can win the battle for the day.
Pickles, every day that you make strides-no matter how small-you have accomplished something. Just remember that your illness is just that-an illness; and every day is another day. Never give up and live each day to the fullest of your ability on that day.
I completely understand as i have the same condition. I have moved house in the last year, moved away from my ex and other people that i don't want to associate with/see anymore, and i am much more relaxed. So i know how it feels to be in close proximitry to your ex. The best thing you can do if you happen to see him, is to put a big smile on your face, be pleasant, say hi and then move on. Even if you feel like punching him : ) Being the bigger person will make you feel so much better. I am lucky enough to have support workers, so i am able to go out most days with their support. Do you have people at home, family or friends, that you can go out with and build up your confidence? I had a friend visit me (from another country) this weekend just gone, and we took the bus a couple of times to do some sightseeing. It made me see that maybe it isn't such a big deal? I've only ever taken the bus alone once. But am thinking about doing it again on my own...
I am starting DBT next week and am hoping the therapy will help my agoraphobia? Have you had any counselling around your condition?
Baby steps, Anna, baby steps. Don't put pressure on yourself, just make a few goals, and then reward yourself when you achieve them. Try walking outside for five minutes a day, or run an errand three times a week. If that is too much, one errand a week, or a walk once a week. Whatever YOU can handle, not what others think that you can handle. then increase from there. Just remember, you have all the time in the world for your goals, so take your time do what YOU can do comfortably. Soon, it will be easier, and then you can make new goals. It's all about goals, and rewarding yourself with you achievements.
You've already proved what a strong woman you are by flying across country to help your daughter. I have faith in you, that soon this will be just a bad dream. Best of luck to you!!!
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