Hello, I've been suffering with depression for many years and have been taking escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg for pretty much all that time. At the start of this year along with seeing a therapist I felt I would try to ween myself off them gradually. Initially I felt fine and felt no ill affects. But after a few months and down to 5mg in hindsight I had begun to just muddle through. By the time I was pretty much off them it was the start of a two week holiday from work, which was started off by me having a major panic attack and and a flood of the depression coming back at full force. I was tearful, couldn't sleep or eat. I couldn't see my doctor as it was the weekend so i went to the hospital who in seeing me put me started me back on the same tablets. I then went to see my own doctor on the Monday. In discussion with him, he feels I can't regulate my own serotonin levels and I should stay on the medicines longer. That he understands me trying to come off the medication but if it works for now then why risk coming off. That there are far more toxic medications out there that people have to take for the rest of there life. While I was still just raking 5mg we planned for me to slowly increase my dosage over the next few weeks back up to 20mg. He reluctantly gave me diazepam to help if and when I needed it. I gradually started to feel better over the weeks and returned to work after my holiday. It was only until last week on my second week of 20mg that I then started to spiral back down again. My appetite has gone and I feel terrible. Endless negative thoughts/ panic!! I can't remember if this is normal while the meds get back into your system or if they aren't working. Does anyone have an idea? Sorry for the lengthy message