After nearly six years of taking Efexor XL I decided I wanted to stop. My doc gradually reduced my dose over about four months, the last ten weeks of which he put me on 75mg then 37.5mg of VenlafaxineI - cost cutting. I have been stopped now for over 3 weeks.

I'd gone cold turkey a couple of times previously purely by accident, reactions kicked in within 24 hours: sweats, hakes, vomiting, blurred vision, erratic mood swings, feeling suicidal etc. I had all of these for the first week of stopping which was a shock, I had no idea that I'd have so many side effects now since it was such a gentle reduction.

All emotions that had been suppressed are now rampaging around and I can hardly stop from sobbing in absolute grief, desolation and despair . The most horrendous anger has set in which I'm finding hard to rein in, I feel I could actually do serious harm or damage. It's at its worst at night and is not helped by the fact that all the menopausal symptoms of night sweats and sleeplessness have returned with a vengeance along with severe foot and leg cramps.

I'm eating because that's what I'm supposed to do, drinking when I remember and showering when I have to.

I'm not depressed. I can't believe I am. I'm convinced these are withdrawal symptoms but I'm not sure how much longer I or my husband can stand this situation. My husband, although not unkind, is just not empathetic, it is beyond his comprehension - depression is not in his world so I'm feeling completely isolated, out on a limb. I don't want him to see me like this, it's so undignified, so destructive. Having said that, in moments of real agitation I could gladly let him walk away, nay wish him gone.

Am I ever going to be normal again, whatever that is? Is this going to stop? Is there a light at the end because I can't see it. I don't want to resort to chemical help again.

Can someone out there help me, please

One positive result but right now that is questionable, is that my memory is returning - I have gradually been losing the ability to recall just about anything. Not the usual lack of recall but complete parts of a day, event, conversation, holiday have gone. Losing stuff, never to reclaim it etc. I suppose now then I should feel lucky, every cloud has a silver lining.