I'm a dad and I recently found out my wife (could soon be my ex-wife) engaged in risky behaviors during her two pregnancies. I want to know how badly she compromised our children with this behavior. I am enraged… but I’m putting that aside to focus on my children and how to safeguard their welfare going forward.

We have two kids, age 3 and 5. During her first pregnancy, she went into pre-term labor at 27 weeks and remained on terbutaline and modified bed-rest until delivery at 38 weeks. Our child was extremely fussy and didn't sleep well for almost a year. He was nursed but needed supplemental formula. He has shown signs of aggression and ADHD and has been kicked out of his first daycare program. I am scheduling an evaluation for ADHD and other learning disabilities.

Our second was born at 31 weeks and spent two weeks in the NICU. He has had follow-up visits for a murmur/hole in his heart (non-operative, we're waiting to see if it heals), for evaluation for being hydrocephalic, for asthma and a host of other maladies. My youngest has difficulty with language and is not an easy child to communicate with.

I found the wife was taking the following drugs while pregnant: soma, adderall, vicodin, adrafinil (modafinil-provigil).

Herbal supplements: Kratom (Mitragyna speciosa), Phenibut, Sida Cordifolia, Kava Kava, Blue Lotus (nymphaea caerulea), Amantia muscari, Ilex Gauyusa, Silvia Divinorum, Hawaiian baby woodrose seed (Argyreia nervosa), Yan hu sou, Ma haung, Lion's tail/wild dagga (leonotis leonurus & leonotis nepetifolia), Kanna (Sceletium tortuosum), Syrian rue/Perganum harmala, Peruvian myrrh (commiphora myhrra), Turkhash resin incense w lettuce opium, Palo santo incense, Passion flower, Erythina mulungu, bellaco capsi Peru, Cielio banisteriopsis caapi vine… and others!

Can someone help me figure what these drugs and supplements could have had for a negative effect on my children? Now that I know what’s happened I want to get my kids the best care available.

Thank you for your comments, resources, and support. Please do not respond with anger - I have more than enough of that right now!