Hello, forum. I am 21 year old male and was using heroin for more then 7 years. I started using heroin from 2004 and managed to get to clinic for methadone maintenance in 2007. First I went for suboxone but my heroin habit just didnot stop so they forced me to methadon. I started with 25 ml UK (US 25mg) but i managed to get clean for only 3 months. I was back to my old habit using heroin on and off, sometime everyday on top of methadon. It was seriously affecting my methadone dependent and i was gradually increasing my methadone till i reached to 65ml at the Feb of 2010.

2010 was the time when i decided to quit heroin all for good and i did it. I was not only clean from heroin I was also reducing my methadone 1 ml a week till i reached to 42ml. But when i reached to 42ml i had the worst withdrawal i have ever felt in my whole life. I went to immediately to my key worker and asked them to increase my meth to 47. Everything was alright for month but from nowhere i had so bad depression that lead me to having just 2 puff of heroin. I thought it was just 2 puff and not using heroin for a nearly year it would not effect me but i was so wrong. I had a worst withdrawal with that amount and i went again to my key worker. But the problem was now my key worker and doctor didn,t believe me. They think i am lying and keep on refusing to increase my meth. I am really suffering and just dont know what to do. I just wanna ask forum is this the result of using heroin and methadon together for a long time. I really want to change my life but cant do nothing is this state. Can somebody help me will my withdrawal go, its been 1 month but feels worse. the withdrawal feels like i havenot even take my methadon for 2 3 days eventhough i am taking 48ml everyday. SORRY FOR LONG MSG JUST FELT LIKE TALKING TO SOMEONE

thank you