Does the pain stop? Do the mood swings get better? What about the feelings of loneliness and despiration? I have FM, spinal stenosis, and rediculopathies and have managed them for three years with a number of meds but I lost the fight on Dec 18,2009. I had to stop working on that day and since then my life feels like its out of control. I dont sleep, my moods are terrible and now I want to stay in the house all the time. I lack motivation of all sorts. And then to make matters worse my Long term disability people have decided that I need to be evaluated to see if I can work. Hello, I stick people with needles, I have been a dialysis technican for 13, I know when I am no longer to preform my job safely. So now I have to struggle and pay bills, just to live. I am so stressed out. Oh I applied for disability it was denied the first time. It stated," Although you have pain its not enough to keep you from preforming you work duties.Everyday I sink a little lower. I have no one to turn to. My family thinks that if I go back to work I will feel better. I just wish it was that simple. I feel as if I am constantly fighting with someone about something. If its not my family and work, its my friend and them not understanding why I cant go out, then there is the insurance company who took my money and now does want to pay me. My day to day life is hard enough, I need no more stress. Could someone please let stress know that? Ok I am stepping down off my soap box now. Sorry, I just needed to get that out. Deep breath, relax, relay, and release.
I think it would help you to get into a group of some sort. Maybe a "living with chronic pain" group. Better yet, start one! You could use your back ground in medicine. I am not a psychiatrist, but I majored in social work. You made your first big step venting on this site!! Maybe talk to a doctor about getting on some antidepressants. Keep talking to us or to someone else. Please don't withdraw!! Good luck and keep talking... Sweetpea
Oh honey, we know just how you feel!!! My husband and I are both disabled. He was lucky and had long term disability insurance through his job, so when Social Security turned him down all three times, he was still able to get a check each month from UNUM. His attorney has told us it will be another 12-14 months before he can go before a judge to try to get his Social Security. I applied, was turned down, now I get to get an attorney and fight also. We've been fighting Social Security for over 3 years now and it feels like it will never end! We have also gone through the loneliness and wanting to just stay inside. Our families don't understand that we don't always feel like coming to their houses for dinner or "socializing". We are lucky... my husband and I have each other to comfort each other and to be there for each other, because we understand what the other one is going through to some degree.
My husband went through a terrible depression for quite a while. You see, he was the main provider for our family for years, and he was proud of how well he supported his family. It was what made him feel like a MAN. When he could no longer do it anymore, I thought for a while he was going to do something stupid. I was able to just be there for him and now he is doing better. I kinda went through something like that also. I was always so proud of how well I took care of our home and family... big meals every night, a very clean house, you get it... well, I can't do those things anymore either, I had to learn to live with what I can do. I would like for you to write to me when ever you need someone to talk to... I will always answer you and I will try very hard to be here for you... Good Luck and stay in touch please...
I hate to say that many chronic pain conditions/diseases that the pain doesn't stop however there are ways to get it under control enough to have some quality of life which is by far the most important thing.
You need to seek support from people in pain and also people in pain suffering with depression along with any friends/family that are supportive.
My life changed forever 11 1/2yrs ago and I can say after several years feeling the way you do now, it did change for the better as I was able to accept the changes that I couldn't change and even the pain with a doctor to help manage it to only lesson it; not take it all away.
My depression was horrible as I couldn't walk for 2 1/2yrs nor could I work or leave my home except for the many doctor appts and physical therapy.
I too lost friends who just couldn't understand why I could no longer do things and be the person I used to. Now I realize they were not my true friends as true friends will remain no matter what.
Disability is usually denied the 1st time and it takes time to get it. I hope you have an atty for this as it will speed it up and they can not take more than 25% of your back pay you have coming to you. I couldn't have taken the stress without the atty so the money was well worth it.
Stress only makes pain worse so do all you can to focus on good things in life and even watching some TV, reading, listening to music, and also keeping a journal writing down your feelings and having it as a "pain diary" for your disability case will help you out tremendously as it will show your pain and how it limits you on a daily basis along with the depression that you suffer from.
One day you will be able to look back on those pages and not feel the way you do now.
The more positive of an attitude you can maintain the better off you will be also. I know that's easier said than done but it truly does help.
Venting helps also. We are here for you.
Hello, I'm back are you doing ok? I have added you as a friend, so all you have to do is add me! Then we can ask private questions. At least let the people who answered your question know your OK! When I first discovered this site I was very depressed, and then I started reading peoples questions & answeres. I realized these people WANT TO HELP. If they dont know the answer they will lead you in the right direction. I can't say I'm happy everyday (chronic pain), but I look forward to logging on...
I hope the new meds helped you some. No, the pain doesn't always get better, but sometimes it does. And, over time, you come to accept your situation and the depression gets easier. There are a lot of support groups online - you might want to really get involved with one, and go there everyday and make friends who understand how you feel. Also, you can make peace with not working and set different goals for yourself. It's amazing what has changed in me these past 13 years. Keep on learning what pain methods are out there - technology is changing things, and who knows? There may be cure out there for you someday! Try not to isolate - make a goal of getting out with friends for even an hour once a week. If they desert you or completely don't understand, try a different friend. Take care -
I doubt very much that you're a problem child but certainly a 'child' with problems!!
Could you verify one thing, are you talking about rediculopathes, or reticulapothy?
The 1st causing a great deal of paing, the 2nd, anemia.
Is there an end? Yes... but the road won't be overnight.
1st re; depression, desperation, lonliness and the feeling you've 'lost the fight'.
I get the idea from you and your work history, that you've got a lot of fight left in you, you're at a very lovw point right now. BUT, it's that very low point that could get you just the help you need in terms of support. I know once you've been denied
social security for disability you have to wait a year to reapply... don't know how long it's been. But, you may want to check with one of those attorneys you hear on TV to see if you were to enlist one of them, the year wait would be nullified.
And here's what I'm talking about. You sound clinically depressed to me. I'm a retired nurse, and I know I shouldn't be making any 'diagnoses', but that's what it sounds like. That diagnosis would get you social security disability income. So get documented as much as possible about your depression, when you began treatment for it (anti-depressants), and anything having to do with treating that.
You're more of a fighter than you think, and it broke my heart to see your words
'I lost the fight'. I say you're more of a fighter because YOU'RE HERE!!!
If you aren't yet in treatment for depression, please get youself there asap.
It may take a few tries to find the right Dr. for you, but finding the right one is well worth the effort. Dealing with this severe depression is going to help the rest of the picture. Another reason I say you're more of a fighter is your long work history and the steps and discipline you had to take to get such an important job.
If your pain isn't being managed well by your present Dr. you need to see someone else... you could ask him for a referrel to a pain clinic... you have more than enough reason to be in the great pain that you're in and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
You've come to a great place to help you feel much less alone. There are many, many people here who truly care... I'm one of them. Could you post a response with an answer to that reticulcyte question? (I know I spelled it differently than you... oops. So, you're at the beginning of a road that, while it may be long, is the right road to be on. You've come to the right place. I'll pray for you.
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