where you lash out at people for no good reason, only to get things off your mind? Your physical and emotional pain, worries about your health, become so overwhelming that you say things you don't mean? It's like a snowball rolling down a hill... it starts out as something small (broken back) and each day something adds to the pressures and concerns about your health. You find out you need more surgery, you re-injure a part of your back unrelated to the break, but a problem that brought you to the surgeon is the first place. insurance premiums jacked up to $1,100 per month, and you just can't seem to find that release valve on the pressure cooker. Many of you have bigger fish to fry, how do you deal with it?
I had 4 lower lumbar surgeries and the first 3 were deemed failures and the 4th being a fusion, laminectomy and a few other things that I can't remember what they were called. All in all it was a clean up with a fusion. They also found that I had spinal stenosis at a couple different levels which you can't really do anything about. So I was abusing for almost 25 years and I can tell you that I turned into a nasty prick with a huge chip on my shoulder. The constant pain changes a person and it is usually for the worse.
I could lose my temper and become violent in seconds, of course I always felt like a total asshole after a fight but that's one of the things that chronic pain and addiction did to me. I would say nasty hurtful things that at the time felt good to say. It is a awful feeling going around totally negative about everyone and everything and willing to get physical at the drop of a hat.
If you are not stable on your meds and your pain is not under control then you will fall into a deep depression and usually become negative and vindictive. At least through my experiences and observations, that's what normally happens... Dave
Hi Crissy... I hate , no! I love telling You this... You are totally , absolutely , posatively and completely , reacting as a NORMAL HUMAN reacts when weighed down by PAIN, PRESSURES , FEAR[big time] , and LONELINESS [where are My friends when I need them?] and if one lumps all these problems together... well... they equal DEPRESSION. You are a very, strong Woman. How do I deal with it? The word "loner" comes to mind , as thats where life led Me. At the age of 13 and after many beatings , and other shit , I caught My father attempting , without much success , to rape My sister. I damn near killed Him with My baseball bat before neighbors pulled Me away. I found out that there was a good chance I would be sent to "Reform School" [prison for under 18] for 5 yrs. I couldn't handle it and there was no place to turn for help , so I hit the road and never went back. How did I deal with it ? I'm not quite sure , but here's what I did...
I spent more time in Public Libraries than I did on the street... "no shit"! It was quiet and peaceful in there , and to a curious kid with a bent on education ,[ I knew [through divine guidance I guess , that I had to become smarter than "THEM"] it was a gold mine. Plus, I met good people who helped Me tremendously... 2 Lawyers... a Very good Doctor... several Professional People etc. I also spent a lot of time in the woods with wild animals, from Woods Mice,and Birds to the biggest Wild Animal I have ever touched / "scratched" in My life... a 3/4 ton , [at least!] Bull Moose , "Mortimer Moose" alias "Mort"! and last but by no means least , there was "Bugs & Betty Bunny" and their always changing kids. You know what Crissy , If the CREEPS and ABSOLUTELY ASSHOLES, who run detention homes , jails , and prisons , knew half of what I know about "free to run, untrained by man" wild animals, prisons would probably no longer be needed... [ "The Joliet Mouseman"and "Birdman of Alcatraz"] come to mind.
Christine , now that You've got Me started [and that's power HaH! You manipulated Me ! ! ! I could write like this forever [I am writing a book, as a very good friend who has known Me since grade school days, told Me I should write a book about My life]... but My bird feeders are empty, My Ladies [14 +/- Doe Deer will be here for supper shortly , and a huge grey male Cat has decided He likes me , so I gott'a feed Him, and I 've gott'a get to a store. Hey , did I tell you I finally found some pain Med's. They're "Vikes" but what the hell ! ! Remind Me next time to tell You about an asshole neighbor who decided to mess with My "Kitty Cat"! He didn't think it was funny , but I thought it was a riot ! ! He complained all the way to the Emergency Clinic. "HaW"! "HaW"! "HaW'... I love You, but "Later 'gator"
"They say; You are your own worst enemy... what they should say is "YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND"... ALWAYS... Mr. Bill
Hi Christine - Sorry I took so long in responding to you. Yes, hon, I have had days like that, like I lash out at people. You aren't alone in that. I wish I could do something concrete to help. I know you feel terrible about doing that and what makes you feel worse is that you are so nice a person. When the time comes, you can make an apology if you want, but for now, keep talking with people who care about you and who understand what is going on with you. I'm here if you want to write. Hang in, Jim
sorry I took so long to respond but after reading everyone else my problems seemed inconsequential.I lash out at people every day of my life to get things off of my mind. mostly family members.my pain is overwhelming and i seem to blame everyone around me for lack of comfort. i don"t want my family to be responsible for me, but there are many things i am unable to do so i take it out on everyone. 5years i was diagnosed with a non ruptured cerebral aneurysm/ i chose coiling to a craniotomy. one week later i had a stroke. i was in the hospital at the time so they were able to tpa the stroke to prevent major damage. the only problem that remains is lack of coordination as you can tell by my typing. six months ago i had a TIA. the pain i am being treated for is headaches/ my doctor has ried fenntanyl,oxycontin ms contin, norco and fioricet. i also developed dysphagia after one of the strokes.
the narcotics didn't work all that happened was i had every side effect, but no pain relief. i asked to be taken off of all of the strong ones. i am doing fair now but i worry all of the time.i am trying my best not to blame anyone but sometimes the pain is so severe that i lose control and say things i dont mean and take the frustration out on everyone. thanks for the opportunity to let me get this off of my chest and know it is a normal reaction to pain
This is my lucky day but I won't go on too much about how I lash out. As an example I work with my husband so lashing out can sometimes get into BAD fights which I don't have the stamina for anymore - the last time I lashed out or 'had a fit' like he says, I threw a gatorade bottle and tore my labrium so bad it took 9 hours to repair. I usually tear something up or throw something, phones, files, staplers. I try not to be seen by anyone but sometimes the dogs see me (or hear me) and run for cover. That is when I feel embarrassed and try to compose myself. . quite frankly sometimes this makes me madder and I have to really destroy something . I am thankful I don't hurt living things. Also I don't want another injury.
I think the new hip was a natural cause but I really could have done something to that too.Pain is the devil for all of us and there isn't enough medicine to get our lives back so I guess we just have to 'have a fit' an then recover with a laugh if we can.(easier said than done I know) Have a nice weekend everyone. K Waterbury
- MS Contin Information for Consumers
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- Side Effects of MS Contin (detailed)
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