I was wondering if you could explain something to me. I've been on methadone for about 3months now, I have been on pain pills for 7 yrs, then in March of last year, I met a guy who fooled me good! Got addicted to heroin from April to october. Along with Oxys, but that was usually only used once or twice a week cause he sold them to afford the heroin. I'm a small girl, always have been and I had a nasty habit! Usually 140/day sometimes more! For the last month I've been on 130mgs of methadone and I've been AMAZING! Monday (this past Monday) I dropped myself down 10mgs and it's been a week from HELL! I've been lazy, having physical withdraws, and crying every chance I get! I've also been thinking about that guy a lot! I guess there's a lot of emotions that I havent yet dealt with. I just immediately jumped on the methadone and never looked back. I cannot imagine going down anymore! This is how I am off going down 10mgs?! I'm going to want to kill myself soon if I keep going down! I'm ready to go back Monday and go back up. Im not ready mentally for this yet, but I think my emotions have been hidden also. I just don't know! Or understand! My mom is my sole supporter and she really doesn't get this! And I'm too much of a wreck to try & explain anything to her! Do you recommend anything!? And why is 10mgs so awful?! Thank you so much!