I'm 32, female, without children, typically active, and I have to go off of lexapro.

I have been on 20 mg of Lexapro for about 1 year. I went on it at a challenging time in my life due to anxiety, teeth clenching and insomnia. The teeth clenching and insomnia got better, the anxiety may have slightly improved--- it's hard to tell.

Recently my financial situation changed. I can no longer afford my 10 minute appointments with my psychiatrist that cost over $200 and I also could not afford the $120/month prescription. $320/month for the meds in addition to $400 a month for my therapist=WAY too much money for a struggling small business owner.

Anyway, because I can not afford my psychiatrist's appointment, he prescribed me 30 days of pills and told me to find another doctor. He will not write me another prescription, or give me pills with a smaller dosage. Because I am also recently uninsured, I do not have a doctor that I can afford so I have 30 20mg pills to taper off of this drug. I am tapering as slow as possible, knowing that I have a limited number of pills.

I took 10 mg for 2 weeks. It was rough.
I took 5 mg for 2 weeks. It was horrible.
Currently I am cutting my pills into 8ths (approximately) and I am completely miserable.

The symptoms are the same as everyone else. I am dizzy, with brain zaps, stomach aches, exhaustion, and I am completely incapable of concentrating.

The worst thing though is the depression. I have never been depressed before, but now haven't laughed in at least 3 weeks. I am entirely impatient, unreasonable, apathetic and cruel. I can not control myself in the slightest. I cannot be around other people. I cry easily when I don't have a reason to cry. I don't have any reaction when I should cry.

I am on this site, desperately looking for people who felt this depressed during withdrawal but have successfully come out of it. I need some hope.