... school sweetheart & have two great kids.my wife was sexually abused as a child.i was support in every way i knew,but it eventually killed her depression shut her body down and died unexpectedly christmas eve 2001.she repeatedly stated that me and the kids were the love of her life.we were very happly married for 30 years.after she died i spent 1 1/2 years of heavy drinking,feeling sorry for myself and taking life threatening chances i met a wonderful woman.we immediately hit it off and again i was in love.something i thought i would never feel again.turns out my new girl had a similar childhood as my wife only worse,if thats possible.shortly after we met i lost my good job,got in trouble,got a record,lost my house,boat.vehicles and all my possesions.my new love stood by me through everything.we've been together 9 years.its been great,and a struggle sometimes.she's going to start therapy for ptsd.she's in bad shape.but thats not where i'm going.i am to the point in my life where i feel i've failed in everything,all the support i try to offer just doesn't make any difference.i feel that i don't know what to do next.i've always known the answer to the question but at this point i know nothing.i got a feeling everything has piled up and i've become depressed.sometimes i feel like hoppin on my bike and leaving everything behind,but thats just not me.i don't know how to act anymore.guess i'm maybe just lookin for a shoulder to cry on because i have no one to talk to about me,its always about someone else's problems.any ideas ?