I have been separated from my wife and kids almost 6 months and I'm at the point where I can't take it anymore. I suffer with anxiety panic and meiners. I was hurt at work in 2011 and still waiting to settle. I live 2 blocks from my wife but barely get to see her or spend time together. I miss my step kids and my life I had. We text everyday but don't talk much, she wants to spend thanksgiving together just me and her but I'm afraid it will just cause more depression. What should I do? Should I just give up and try to move on or wait it out and see if we end up back together? I hate being alone and she's bipolar and won't take her meds so her mood swings are horrible. I just don't want to be at our home and have a breakdown. It's like she doesn't even care the life I'm living right now. It's miserable but she likes living alone. We have separated in the past but only for 6 weeks. Our kids argued a lot and that's why I moved out because she said it caused us to argue. But I believe if it's worth fighting for you should stick it out but it's been so long I don't think she will ever want to be together again. I just want my family back. I'm extremely depressed.
You are really in a tough situation. Both of you. If you both still love each other, than its worth trying to work it out. Part of that love will have to include your wife taking her meds and couseling for you and probably the kids. It has to be work on both sides. Any pain condition or emotional disorder can be very isolating and depressing. If you are both still in love with each other, than you need to take care of each other and realize that there will be bumpy periods. If your wife no longer loves you, than you have to find a way to let her go. Being separated is painful. My wife left me fifteen years ago with my then toddler son. I still grieve over having lost all those years with him.
Regardless of what you do as adults, the kids need help. Dealing with two parents that have disabling physical and emotional issues is confusing and leaves them without the feeling of safety.
Have a sit down with your wife and decide whether the love is still really there or not. If it is, then do all you can to fix the problem. There is no point in your being miserable and unsure all the time. You need to move forward, not stagnate.
Being alone with anxiety and depression is the pitts. However, having anxiety and depression in a bad situation can be worse and add to any
existing problems. It is time for a nice sensible talk with your wife to
determine the bottom line of the problems. Therapy always helps. It's good to get an outsiders opinion. Pray you are able to find your answers.
Ashton I'm new to the site but I truly feel your pain. My situation is a lot like yours except there are no small children and I am the one with all the medical conditions. I too wanted thanksgiving alone with my husband but he wanted to spend it with his kids. We were married 23 years and divorced in June. I had been self medicating most if our marriage and he can't understand my mental illness. I love him so much that I think I'm gonna stop breathing with out him. I'm sorry I'm no help I needed to share that with someone. Loneliness is unbearable along with anxiety and depression. Sorry for typing so much. My heart goes out to you
The fact that your answer is not yes tells me your answer is no. My line of thought is that you'd be back together w her if you thought it was right. You aren't running towards her it's kind of like you've answered your own question. Just my opinion. Another comment is no matter what you do just take it day by day. Hope these brief remarks help.
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