She was taken to a dance class today and has been wanting to go for a while but as soon as I get to the door she throws a tantrum ive tried every thing and its not working my gp advised that will pass but its getting to a point where I dont want to take her to any activities cause of this problem its ruining my social life and most of the people are people she knows
I suspect your social schedule has to fall by the way side until you figure this out. A child who goes to school should not be having that much trouble with you leaving her. Something has happened that has her afraid to leave you out of her sight. I would find a good child therapist.
Is it possible that you are posing it to her as a problem?
Pose the time apart from her as a process - she goes to dance then you take her home for dinner/toys whatever... You've likely heard that we artificially escalated our child's fear of the dentist by posing it to them as a strong possibility ... "There's nothing to be afraid of, it's just your first trip to the dentist"...
I'm wondering if you are becoming frantic or are counter-productively telling her "this is what we talked about... You shouldn't be doing this" ... Rather like a two yearold going to daycare you hug them BIG, tell them you love them, then firmly leave. Not an emotional look-back in distrust that everything is ok... Show the child there is nothing to worry about by calmly walking (and staying) away.
At this age the 'care-providers' and teachers should be equipped, patient and willing to suffer through a two week adjustment period... Where they REDIRECT the child after you've left... And REASSURE the child that you'll be back. That's their job.
I'm not insinuating that you've done ANYTHING wrong. When a kid cries, we want to coddle... The first week of daycare NO PARENT trusts the theory of leading the separation emotion response with confidence and trust will foster a feeling of confidence and trust... But it does work.
When my kid went to dance/gymnastics between 5-8, I rarely stayed to watch... Come to find out from athletic star sang Olympians ... Many successful athletes were asked about childhood practices... This is the age where they want to make YOU proud. Those successful athletes said they remember their parents saying "I just loved to watch you play". Practice isn't so grueling when u r proud that even practice is putting on a show and is pleasing to the one you want to make proud... Maybe your 7 year old wants you there. Maybe a compromise can be met with communication if it's not the separation anxiety.
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