My childhood love and I got in contact again about a yr ago. He moved over one state before we where in contact due to his drug issues. And he has been clean out there and I would go visit him and we've always been bestfriends and honest and I heard about his drug issues before we got in contact from mutual friends. He started coming back out here to visit me (where we are from) and things where great but he got back into the old crowd and his friends are junkies. I used pills,coke, extacy and so on but have been clean 5 yrs but heroin I knew nothing about but I learned QUICK! I know him to a T and I could tell when he was high and he told me what was up..he moved back out here and we where living together and I tried that crap and I knew I had to stop I felt a bad since that I was going to ruin my life and getting off was literally the worst pain I've ever felt. But now all we do is argue I'm assuming because I'm sober and bitching and calling him out when he starts to be sneaky or lie or selfish. He says he wants to stop but I know he can't not with his friends who are worse off them him. I told him I hate who he is here and he flipped out and said I'm evil and broke his heart.I just am broken up, I've loved him since I was 12 and its been almost 11 yrs we are bestfriends but I had to cut it off the other day, he just isn't who I love on that mess I can't respect him I hate his friends and the lifestyle... but I'm so stressed I wanna txt him badly but I'm letting my brain take over and say NO! Has anyone ever been through this or something similar? I'm hurting so much I never saw things going down like this... I think I lost my love. I just hate all this. Help me please... thanks so much...
Sometimes, you just need to break up with someone if they refuse to change their self-destructive behavior. Especially since it has affected you (you said you tried drugs because of him).
I'd recommend telling him that he cut off all contact with his druggy friends and dealers, and seek a substance abuse specialist who can help him detox safely and without as many horrid side-effects of withdrawal. Suboxone is the most common drug prescribed for those who wish to stop abusing heroin or other opiates. Usually doctors will prescribe it and have a patient slowly taper off the medication.
Another solution is methadone, though he should still be supervised carefully by a medical professional if he chooses this route.
Last resort, if he can't stop, is a rehab facility.
But, stopping drugs HAS TO BE HIS CHOICE. You can't change a person, even if you love them. Love isn't always enough in a relationship. If he refuses to get help, I recommend leaving him. If he truly loves you, he will seek help. If he wants to continue being a junkie, then it's very unhealthy for you to be enabling his behavior. You need to leave him if he won't get help. I know this is a difficult choice, but you need to look out for your own interests, and remaining in a relationship with him while he's abusing drugs is just hurting BOTH of you. You cannot force him to change, and fighting just leads to him trying to manipulate and other drug-related behaviors.
Are there Al-Anon groups in your area? They might be helpful.
While it primarily focuses on alcoholics, the same basic principles apply for any drug addiction. Even if meetings aren't available where you live, perhaps the online material will be helpful.
I wish you best of luck, and hope he seeks help.
Search for questions
Still looking for answers? Try searching for what you seek or ask your own question.
Posted 1 Mar 2010 • 3 answers
Posted 18 Nov 2011 • 1 answer
Posted 11 Feb 2012 • 1 answer
Posted 13 Jul 2013 • 2 answers
Posted 11 Jan 2016 • 1 answer