She abuses them.
You mean if it's born at all (miscarriage) or doesn't have severe birth defects, behavioral problems, learning disabilities or life threatening immune system defects or addiction? Yes, probably.
I can only think of a few things more hideous and irresponsible than risking the health and well-being of an unborn child.
If you want to do your good deed for the millennium you'll intervene. Advise the Dr, maybe find the local Al Anon group so you can learn how to best help someone like this without making it worse.
Just think, you can be the champion in the life of someone you don't even know yet, someone who isn't even born yet.
Or not. Hope this helps.
I just want to reiterate what the first responder said. Since you are aware of what is going on, you must notify her doctor. The doctor can not talk of her situation to you, due to confidentiality, but they can LISTEN to what you have to say. You can ask to be kept confidential. But there is a baby who IS going to suffer as a result of the mother taking these drugs while pregnant. Please do the right thing - and call the doctor. This isn't being a busybody. You may be the only voice this infant has. God bless.
I pray that the baby is born, and born healthy. but taking those meds while pregnant is the heighth of selfishness. your cousin needs a wake-up call.
maybe you can be that person.
i understand a little bit about this, when i was in my late teens and early twenties i used to drink a lot. the second i found out i was pregnant, not a single drop did i drink. your cousin can do this, but she will need help from a different doctor who won't prescribe a narcotic pain med nor a benzodiazapine. if she is addicted to hydrocodone she may be able to try subutex (NOT suboxone) with no harm to her baby, and no withdrawal for her.
good luck to you and your cousin
Hello alee, Since addicts don't tend to listen, I would suggest that you and others involved start to prepare for an addicted baby. Hopefully someone who knows will be there when the baby is born and tell the staff immediately what is going on with the baby.
Write to her doctor and tell him about what you know. Let him know the baby will be addicted. Addicts lie to protect their meds. If you know this is being abused, I can pretty much guarantee you are only seeing a tiny bit of what she does. So tell him all you know, crack, ecstasy, whatever.
Your focus will now be the child. Don't scare her or she will hide if she gets a lecture on drugs. Do not enable with money, no one ought to do that. If she needs cash go with her to buy what is needed. Every penny she has will be used for the addiction. It is a tough road for all involved. Get to a counselor, social worker, whatever is at your disposal. You do this for the child, not for the addict. Keep clear with that. The addict is saved only when they admit they need help. Until then, it will only be fighting and guilt between you. Since the baby is not her concern, she is very hooked indeed.
This is very difficult to do. As a group of you and friends or family work with a counselor over time. Even an support group for addicts would be good to attend. it becomes easier with information. You can learn what to do. Please, please, remember to never give her money. Bring her groceries if that is what she needs. Anything she can sell she will. Everything for the baby will be sold for a few bucks. Better to gift after the baby. It is the sad truth of addiction. You may not believe it now, but what sense is it to see it happen over the next few months and know you are part of maintaining the addiction? Be ready for this. Know that it can be done. Start reading online. Dr Phil is my go to these days. This is a subject he deals with a lot. Plenty of info on his website.
You can do this for that baby... Your love for her and the baby will make the best of this. Stay in touch. Karen
I see you question can only be answered one time as it was posed as a direct answer rather than a conversation. Sometimes it helps for other to answer more than once when we receive more information. I wanted to ask first of all what condition is she getting the pain pills for? Also, how do you describe abuse? If she has a condition, of which her doctor is aware of, & knows she is pregnant,I have to wonder what is so wrong with her that a professional who has taken a ethical code to do no harm would prescribe these medications in the first palce.Does she suffer from a chronic condition that causes her severe pain? Sometimes when people have condtions that require constant taking of pain medication they will build up a tolerance. Now I would think that she would be considering the baby in all of this & the harm it could do. If she is not then I feel it is not only your right, but duty to your second cousin (the baby) to report this to her doctor immediately.
If she has an addiction problem she can get help, but it may be hard on her pregnancy to go through withdrawals also. Maybe the doctor is aware, but is trying to do what he feels is best for both situations. I would doubt that is true, & you owe not only this new child, but your cousin the unconditional love of helping her whether it interferes with your relationship or not. She will thank you in the long run. I wish you the best in the decision you have to make, but to answer your question, YES! It will affect this unborn child in a negative way if she even carries it to term unless she is taking them as prescribed & under an OB/GYN's care. Good luck to you & may God bless that baby & your cousin...
Hello alee - Boy do I see some issues here and most have been addressed, too. Before you do anything "against" your cousin... like contacting her doctor, talk with her in earnest. You didn't mention how far along she is and that also determines the outcome. Her ob/gyn needs to know but that isn't for you to say. You can tell your cousin that the baby can be taken away from her at the hospital, if DCF becomes involved and I don't believe that is your intention but that is what can happen. She needs to talk with her doctor about this issue and be monitored carefully throughout the rest of her pregnancy. If she is determined to be doing intentional harm to her unborn baby... believe me, she can be admitted to a hospital until the baby is born under certain circumstances. They need to be prepared for her delivery and a baby in distress/withdrawals. When they hear the baby's first cries... they'll know there is a problem.
Be loving and supportive of her as otherwise she might become defensive or even combative. I am sure you want whats best for them both, right? Where is her husband in all of this? He is the one who can force her hand and/or inform the doctor, not you. Whatever is going on in her life... it is just too bad that she has chosen to involve an innocent, defenseless unborn baby, regardless of her reasons. Also be prepared that she might not talk with you any more. You know what? That is tough love and that happens sometimes. But you do what you think is right but I sure would also talk with her husband and make sure the both of them know what the risks are here so that there are NO SURPRISES when she is ready to deliver, if she doesn't miscarry first. This is so very sad... just know that you are doing what you think is right... just don't act in a way that is inappropriate. Think it through and then decide what you are going to do and say and then do it. Doing something out of "love" regardless of the outcome to me is always best. Don't wait too long... time is of the essence to get her off drugs. If she says that her doctor prescribed to her knowing she was pregnant... DON'T BUY IT!!!
I am assuming we are talking about two or three different doctors here. The prescribing doctor may not know she is pregnant and the ob/gyn may not know she is taking narcotics. However, the ob/gyn doctor may know and she could also be trying to wean off. Do you know for sure? Just saying...
Even if the drugs are prescribed, and the ob dr is aware she's taking them, and even if she weren't abusing them, most states have a law that the hospital must contact Child Protective Services if a baby is born and sufferers from withdrawals from drugs. Prescribed, not prescribed, abused, not abused - doesn't matter, it's the law. Of course when she goes in to deliver, they'll be able to test and see what she took and how much is in her system. If it's too much for her prescribed dosage, or if there's anything that's not been prescribed, she's going to have a big problem on her hands. Not only with the new baby, but with the children she already has. You can check your state's laws and see if this is the case, but personally, I'd just tell her and her husband that this is the way it is. Maybe that will inspire her to get the help that she needs. Hope this helps.
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