I've recently need diagnosed with major depression disorder. Which is not what I think is wrong with me. I mean I know I'm depressed but the anger issues that's the real problem plus my anxiety is out of control. I can't even walk out side before I have anxiety. They put me in clonazapam for the anxiety but it really don't help. I need some thing that will help with the anger. I only have 2 emotions anger or sadness. Then I will have days where I feel somewhat normal and will seriously deep clean my house which isn't really like me. It's like I have an over abundance of energy. Then the day I can't get off my couch. I never sleep. If I do it's not a deep sleep. I'm trying everything possible to get help but no one is rest giving me answers. My dr tried lexspro and that just made the symptoms worse. Then she gave me wellbutrin but the side effects once again were horrible. I'm waiting to see a shrink but I need help now. I know this isn't who I am or who I want to be. I just don't what to do anymore. I'm a single mom and it's becoming harder to be that person. I love my daughter very much and it's always just me an her. But idk what happened that set this off. I've always dealt with depression but have always been able to shake it off. But not this time. I don't want to die I just don't want to exist. I'm not sure if those are the same but sometimes I just want to fade into the couch cuz that is pretty much the only place I stay.. I'm just broken and I can't find help.
Hi, Melissa! I'm sorry you're going through all this and don't for a moment feel it's your fault or something you're doing wrong.
I'm glad you're seeing a psychiatrist because this sounds like a lot more than depression. Depressives don't cycle between anger, depression, and an *overabundance of energy*. Anger issues are often indicative of bipolar hypomania ~ at least they are in my case ~ and should NOT be treated with standard antidepressants as these can make the condition worse.
Understand that you have an illness and don't beat yourself up over it. You'll be better soon once you are on medications prescribed by a licensed psychiatrist.
Hang in the and best wishes to you! Wildcat
Melissa26849; I agree 100% with everything Wildcat said I think you need to make arrangements to see a doctor right away!!! Be it going to the E.R. room most hospitals have an on-call physician on duty. You don't want to wait much longer I can understand I have felt like this before also. And it is very scary. If nothing else call you PCP and tell the doctor that you can't wait any longer to see the mental health doctor or nurse that you so badly need to see. Put your foot down. or head for the E.R. NOW. these feelings can snap as fast as lightning Please!!! as you said yourself you have your daughter to worry about and LIVE FOR. this whole thing is not your fault. This is some kind or a type of chemical imbalance and you need to be put on the right kind of medications to get your life back PLEASE BELIVE ME!!! and trust me you are not alone.
Its complicated but you can be agitated and depressed its actually common and you can have insomnia also but what sticks out is the cleaning for 3 day spans, I don't think Bipolar because you miss the sleep you don't get and we really would need more info or symptoms. Why do you feel the need to clean the house for so long? is it overkill like OCD type Danny Tanner cleaning things that don't need it or does your house get extremely dirty from your depressive episodes and when not depressed you feel bad and clean? do you work? If you're pent up in your house all the time that can be a factor in both the severity of the depression and the anxiety both of which are causing the anger I'd bet. Seeing a Pdoc is a step in the right direction but try and exercise a bit if you can and leave your house for an hour 1st thing in the morning, I know its easier said than done but sometimes recovery is a fight. Best wishes and good luck!
Don't get scared get busy! You are smart yo recognize it's coming on rather than wait and be overwhelmed.
FYI... I'm sure other people are feeling this way. Why?
THE HOLIDAYS are coming up!
The anger, depression and sleep changes are all wrapped up into one problem. You need to find what that problem is to fix it. If it's not obvious, you need someone to help you sort it out.
You are not sleeping on the days you spend on the couch because your body is not doing anything to make your body tired.
Do yourself a favor by going out with no expectations,appointments, etc.
Just walk around your favorite store. You don't need to buy anything. Walk around and look while being out with people. Choose friendly faces and smile and say hi. You will be amazed as the positive reinforcement starts to make you feel friendlier.
The more you stay inside the harder it will be to go out.
Your daughter needs you and not a shell of the wonderful mother I know you are!
Best wishes to both of you...
Thanks everyone for all the advice... seen my dr. today he is putting me on new meds. I really hope they help cuz i feel like im drowning. My husband came back to help wich is good in a way.. I dont understand though how i can be surrounded by people and still feel so alone. I try to tell the people around me how i feel and they say they wanna help but then just walk away like i said nothing at all. Im just so overwhelmed why wont my family help me. I dont know how to make them understand.
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