I keep asking around here because I love to hear others input.
I am 19. I take birth control and that is my only medication.
I graduated high school in June 2013. I can't afford to go to college so I have been literally at home every day since then. I got a job recently, but it doesn't help much when all of my coworkers are not very social and much older than me.
I really have always relied on friends for my mental well-being. I love being social and I miss all of my friends, who are away at college who I never get to see anymore.
Sometimes I get a feeling in my stomach, like my stomach has dropped and I feel awful. It happens out of nowhere and is accompanied by some irrational thoughts and overthink things. I'm tired of getting that feeling.
Like it hit me hard yesterday, I was at work stacking shelves and it happened. Out of nowhere, I start to panic because the thought of "do I really love my boyfriend?" come in my head. It makes my stomach drop and I feel so so terrible. I know I love my boyfriend. I want to know why all the sudden this is happening to me.
The first time this happened was in April 2014. I was reading over old texts between my boyfriend and realised that I wasn't all emotionally sappy over the texts anymore, which terrifies me. People say it's because we're no longer in the "honeymoon phase" (2.5+ years of dating). I don't like that though. Anyway, that went away but came back in July 2014, and came back hard. Absolutely ruined my summer and is harming my relationship. I just don't understand what's going on. I feel crazy, honestly.
I have always wanted to be in love, be loved. As a kid I always dreamt of marriage and that never changed, still hasn't entirely, but I feel different and weird and I just want to be my old self.
I want to say that I feel this way because my life has changed. It's my first time being out of school, my friends and boyfriend all live far away, and my dad got a job (he used to work from home) so now I don't see him as much. Does anyone else think this is why I feel this way? I'm pretty sure but I want to know if I need to seek professional help. Would love to know what others think.