Ok so I just wrote an essay on my history and my computer decided to wipe it :@

So here is the short story!!!
I was put on citalopram 20mg in 2009 after the traumatic birth of my son which resulted in bonding issues, extreme anxiety and agoraphobia. My dose has changed between 20-60mg and I am now on 7.5 having reduced by 10mg at a time until I got to 10 and now on Cipramil liquid to continue to withdraw slowly. They tried to switch me to 2 other meds during the time I have been on it but the first (venlofaxine) landed me in A&E almost rocking in the corner crying uncontrollably and the second (trazodone) which was a direct swap fro 20mg of cital had me pretty much useless with withdrawal, constantly felt like I was on a boat in the middle of a hurricane, temp of over 40 and a total mess, which being a single parent with little support was not an option so I went back on it!

So now I have decided medication is not for me, since being on it if anything things have got worse not better, I am also now on amatryptaline (sp) for tension headaches and severe muscle pain in my shoulders (10mg) was on 20mg but my heart decided it didn't like it and was and still sometimes get where my heart can do anything up to 140 BPM even when I have been sat doing nothing for hours.

So my problem now is that having come down from 60-7.5mg over a good year or so taking it 10mg at a time and leaving it at least a month inbetween dropping to give my body chance to settle so as not to set back! I am absolutely terrified of getting to 2.5mg and stopping completely then hitting the brick wall of withdrawal all over again and feeling like I have wasted all this time trying to plan so carefully reducing it! As I mentioned being a single parent doesn't give me many options, I cannot simply spend 2/3/4 weeks in bed, its not an option but I HAVE to get off these pills! My last liver function test showed 'abnormal' but they didn't seem *too* concerned, the heart issue however has raised eye brows and I have to have an ECG and was told to stop the amatrytaline but this also caused problems with extreme nausea so I was told to start up again on 10mg.

Has anyone else managed to get off cital without too many problems? I don't recall having had many symptoms reducing until I went from 10-7.5 2 weeks ago and have felt tired,sick,heartburn,extreme headaches etc but they have been 'doable' I just haven't left the house (which makes for one very bored 3 year old)! I am thinking about the next step (2 drops=5mg) but I am really scared about the side effects again, I have an antiemetic (cyclizene) for when it gets bad, but I just feel trapped inside my own head/body as if I will be stuck on them or feeling ill off them forever!!! :( Any advice would be great!!! and I should probably mention sick is my biggest phobia! (emetophobia) so feeling sick does not help me at all!!!