I've put off asking this as long as I can but I'm terrified & need some help. Last week my Mom was diagnosed w/ lung cancer. It's agressive & tumor is growing fast. My Dad died of lung cancer 21 months ago, 6 mos after diagnosis. He moved in w/ me the last 3 mos. Last week, I was just holding my breath until we knew how bad my Mom's was. As cancers go, it's good news - the tumor appears contained w/ no spread 2 lymph nodes. Since reality has a strange sense of humour, I had just received my own bad news regarding my health the day before my Mom got hers. I've chosen not 2 share that w/ her now.
In my family, when someone gets *really* sick, I'm the one that deals w/ it. Apparently I'm the only one who's "strong enough" & hey, I have experience w/ multiple bizarre diseases, dealing w/ Dr's & hospitals, & surgeries in the high double digits. I've been w/ both grandfathers, my uncle, & my Dad when they died, all from lung related diseases (and no, none of them smoked - guess I should be glad 4 genetic reasons I'm adopted <weak attempt at humour>).
My Mom is understandably terrified - her surgeon is going aggressive & removing her entire upper left lobe & all lymph nodes 4 testing & staging. So my Mom needs me - post op, recovery, etc. And I want/need 2 be there 4 her. What's scaring me is physically I am so much worse than when my Dad was dying. I cancelled the surgery I was supposed 2 have when we got her results. Medically, I'm not supposed 2 drive & I'll also have my niece & nephew after school.
I *can't* let her down. I'm just terrified that my body doesn't know that. Her surgery is tom. I would deeply appreciate any input 4 the big question - how do I take care of both of us? Thanks 2 all who made it through this novella of a question :-)